


Maybe Tomorrow, What If

by nini_sky



Category: GOT7
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Falling In Love, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Heartbreak, Light Angst, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, teenagers being teenagers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-07
Updated: 2018-05-13
Packaged: 2019-03-01 15:20:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 24,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13297656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nini_sky/pseuds/nini_sky
Summary: Jinyoung thinks that his tomorrows are the roots of his choices and actions from today. That meeting people are by fate and its one's choice if they should let them stay or not as well as the boundaries you set for those you allow to stay. That whatever choice you take, there's always a long-term or short-term result in it. Jinyoung always based his big decisions on logic- never on feelings... but until when?





	1. We Were Never Really Just Friends

**Author's Note:**

> This is for you, Emi. I love you, mom. Thank you for putting up with my weird self.
> 
> Chapter 1 theme song: https://open.spotify.com/track/6YqCVhfQytVNUGqaZ2c1MW

There are people who we meet in our lifetime, friends and acquaintances, romantic interests and enemies, family and those we leave behind for whatever reason. Sometimes, it’s funny because we never really give it much thought how this one person could be more than just a friend until the time simply comes. Meeting people, getting to know them, befriending them, struggling and laughing with them. We become close. Close friends. Sometimes, there’s nothing more.

The thing is, Jinyoung thinks that there’s really no way he could ever be involved so closely with someone other than his best friend, Jaebum. The two practically grew up together, same pre-school, elementary, middle school, high school, and now college as well. One year into university, they’re both doing well. They have to. You’d think belonging in different crowds would deter their closeness, but perhaps they’ve only solidified even more. Jinyoung relies on Jaebum as Jaebum relies on Jinyoung. They may have friends in campus, but both of them trust and understand each other the most. The two of them, simply having each other’s backs perhaps, until the end. As if they had the unspoken pact that if it ever goes down to it, it will be the two of them against the world.

On their freshmen year, it’s when Jaebum has a cheerdancing competition in Gangnam and ofcourse, Jinyoung is invited and ever ready to cheer his best friend on. The younger of the two doesn’t seem to mind that he’s cheering alone for his best friend. It’s only the two of them of course. A day before the competition, Jaebum takes the university bus with his squad members while Jinyoung drives using his best friend’s car all the way to Gangnam from Dongdaemun-gu. “You’re lucky I have a license…” Jinyoung says towards his phone that’s placed on the shotgun seat. He can hear Jaebum’s soft laughter despite the chatter at the other end of the line. “Thanks, Jinyoung. I… I’m glad you’re going,” there was a tone of relief, somewhat tugging at Jinyoung and making him wonder if Jaebum thought he wasn’t going with him.

“Well… you’ve always been there when I drag you to the library to study…”

Another soft laughter.

“And you always attend my dance competitions and performances when you could be reading a good book,” Jaebum adds. Jinyoung can only scoff but he smiles regardless. “We can go to a bar after the competition. I’ll buy you a drink,” Jaebum suddenly says as if he was trying to appeal. “Really? You’ll treat me to drinks?” the younger asked, somewhat pleased. “I said a drink!” Jaebum yelps, clarifying the amount of what he would allow his best friend before sighing and giving up. “Yeah. You deserve it too. You’ve been working hard,” the older says through the phone, “with your parents breathing down your neck and studying a course you hate.”

Jinyoung pauses for a moment, anxiety settling in his stomach at the mention before speaking. “Okay. Drinks. Yeah, I’d like to drink,” he says with both excitement and uncertainty.  Jaebum laughs from his end before sighing. “A little bit more and I’ll start thinking you’re an alcoholic,” the older says with fondness and Jinyoung feels the anxiety ebb away. “It’s bad to turn down free drinks. That would make me an ingrate,” Jinyoung quips before laughing. “Anyway, I’ll see you later. I’ll just follow your bus around.” Jaebum hums thoughtfully.

The call ends with a smile on both their lips.

When the competition day sets in and Jinyoung is seated in the bleachers with a clear view of the center, he waits patiently by reading a book. He had arrived early since he had nothing better to do and due to Jaebum’s request. The competition begins, one university squad after another. Jinyoung thinks there had been at least 15 universities competing today. He watches his university’s performance excitedly, cheering along and cheering for Jaebum.

The competition ended with loud cheers that seem to resound the gymnasium even after the event. It had been that eventful and loud. Jinyoung thought he would have gone deaf with a bunch of fangirls cheering beside him, shrill voices and screams ringing in his ear most of the time. Their university comes in second. It calls for celebration still, even if it’s not the championships.

Jinyoung had done research during his stay in Gangnam. He’d managed to search on the internet for bars that would be nice to have conversations and drinks in. He’d save the map on his phone and is now driving towards the bar of his choice.

Arriving at the bar, it seems that it was a little packed inside from the slightly tinted glass walls. The two freshmen seemed excited as they got out and Jaebum spared Jinyoung a glance. “Nice choice of a resto-bar, Jinyoung,” he nudged before walking with the younger. From some reason Jinyoung couldn’t quite pinpoint, the brunette feels like he’s been brought here by fate. _That’s ridiculous_ , Jinyoung had thought. Quite poetic if that was the case, but even if he had wanted to be a literature student instead, he’d still think it’s stupid.

Indeed, the resto-bar was quite packed and Jaebum seems to recognize several people in the crowd. It seems like several teams from the competition are celebrating or eating dinner here, Jaebum had thought. Once they’ve all settled down, a waitress moves towards them to give them the menu and made suggestions to order. They’ve ordered dinner as well as drinks: Jinyoung and Jaebum ordering beer, the better drinks later on, maybe.

The night progresses, silent chatter from the two simply went by. The ambient was comfortable and relaxing, Jinyoung thought that it was nice. The pitcher of cocktail is to be served in a while, Jinyoung nursing his third bottle while Jaebum had stopped on his second bottle. “You’re such a putz,” Jinyoung gruffly says before taking a sip and Jaebum rolls his eyes. “I’d like to come home to Nora in one piece, thanks,” the eldest had grumbled.

 “Heeeey!” the voice boomed, loud and clear, slightly slurred.

The two of them looks up to see a dirty blond teenager, eyes quite animated like a puppy. “Hey, you’re that guy! The guy who was leading the front of his squad with b-boy moves, right? Your university’s performance was soo cool! And pretty unique might I add!” He smiles bright. Jinyoung thinks he’s a loud and happy fellow but he seems to be much more interested at the guy who looks slightly embarrassed behind the guy he assumes to be part of the pep squad of his university. Jaebum looks embarrassed too, quite unsure how to deal with the praise.

“I’m Jackson. Jackson Wang. We’re the one who represents the university in Gwanak-gu!” He beamed, extending a hand to Jaebum. Jinyoung peers at the two, finally noticing their varsity jackets that proudly displayed their university and team name. “Im Jaebum,” the raven smiles shyly as he shook the blond’s hand before offering a seat. The two strangers settle on the seats available- one beside Jaebum and one beside Jinyoung. Mark settles beside the younger of the two while the excited puppy settles beside Jaebum. Jinyoung can’t help but stare at the quiet blond stranger beside him, so he turns to him with a smile.

“Hi.”

_Silence._

“I’m Jinyoung, you are..?”

“… Mark.”

Jackson laughs as he waves off at Mark. “He’s a little shy! He’s actually an American citizen but then he’s Taiwanese. He’s worried that he might screw up with speaking in Korean to new people,” the puppy-like guy says and the interest Jinyoung has for Mark simply sparks even more. The brunet smiles, eyes crinkling towards Mark and the latter feels his cheek heat up in embarrassment.

“ _Don’t worry. I won’t laugh at you,_ ” Jinyoung says towards Mark. He’s been told his American accent is good and so is his vocabulary, so Jinyoung hopes this breaks the ice between him and Mark. Mark blinks at Jinyoung before smiling shyly. “Thanks,” he stiffly says.

The ice does eventually melt between them and Jinyoung is learning so much about these… strangers. He supposes he can consider them as friends with all four of them eating dinner together and drinking booze. To him, this is the second-best way to get to know someone: dinner and booze. Later in the night reveals that Jackson is quite the popular student in different universities. Before transferring to Korea, Jackson was known as a fencer in Hong-Kong. Jinyoung thinks its not to sneeze at and is pretty impressive. Now, Jackson is a pep squad dancer. Sometimes, Jinyoung thinks he’s the only one who isn’t really doing anything worthwhile during his college years.

Deeper into the night, the rest of them jumps from conversation to conversation except for Mark and Jinyoung. The two of them seems to have their own world and conversation. As far as Jinyoung’s learned about Mark, the older used to do martial arts, loves video games, owns a dog named Coco ( _“Did you name her?” Jinyoung had asked with a grin that he’s trying to hide and Mark pouts. “Yeah, so what if I named her Coco! It’s cute!” Mark had defended. Jinyoung laughs softly but his hand is in the way to cover his mouth. “Yes, of course, it’s cute. You’re cute too, for giving her a name like that,” Jinyoung teased and he knows Mark is somewhat embarrassed due to the blush on his cheeks._ ), he originally lives in California, Los Angeles, he dances too, and he likes to stay indoors and drink too. Jinyoung seems to relate and had carelessly revealed about himself: a bookworm, an all-around student, not-so-okay relationship with parents, lives with his best friend, likes to watch movies, likes to stay indoors and drink.

Jinyoung thinks they’ll get along well.

The night ended with exchanges of numbers between the ones from Gwanak-gu and Dongdaemun-gu with the promise of meeting again soon. In a matter of hours (and drinks in Jinyoung’s opinion), it felt like they knew each other since they were in high school or something. Jinyoung’s a little sleepy but he feels the hug Jackson gives him- it’s a little too tight, and Mark’s shy embrace- a little too warm. Jinyoung felt like he could take a nap in Mark’s arms. He wouldn’t mind doing so. But regretfully, he pulls away, bidding goodbye to the two. Mark and Jackson walk to the former’s car, slipping in and leaving after they had prepared. Jaebum drove that night, with Jinyoung fast asleep on the passenger seat beside him.

The next day that Jinyoung wakes up, the first thing he reaches for is his phone. He doesn’t need to wonder how he got to bed last night- He knows Jaebum is responsible for this. He’ll have to thank the older by cooking breakfast. He’s grateful, always grateful for Jaebum, specially in instances like last night.

**Mark Tuan**  
12:37 AM  
Hey, just letting you know we got back safely.

**Mark Tuan**  
12:37 AM  
My Korean isn’t exactly the best yet so bear with me... with wrong grammars and spellings…

**Mark Tuan**  
12:38 AM  
So I wanted to ask you if we could get coffee. Me and you?

**Mark Tuan**  
12:38 AM  
Shit okay that sounds weird. It’s weird right? Asking another guy out for coffee…

**Mark Tuan**  
12:52 AM  
But still… it would be nice to be able to talk to you with no alcohol and loud chatter and music…

**Mark Tuan**  
1:23 AM  
Have you gotten home safely?

**Mark Tuan**  
1:52 AM  
Jaebum said you got back about an hour ago and that you were already asleep. Sleep tight!

Jinyoung isn’t sure why he’s smiling at the pile of text messages he had received. He decides to simply reply to make sure and ease the older.

**Park Jinyoung**  
10:09 AM  
Sorry. I must’ve fallen asleep in the car… Jaebum brought me back to the dorm. Anyways, I’m only accepting the coffee offer under a condition: your treat.

Jinyoung then sets his phone down to stretch but stops half-way when he feels his phone’s vibrations. He picks it up and checks the message.

**Mark Tuan**  
10:09 AM  
Deal. I’ll pick you up at 3 PM.

Jinyoung couldn’t… understand for a moment. He sets his phone down and gets up, wearing his indoor slippers, stripping into fresh clothes, and heading out of his room only to see Jaebum eating breakfast in their living room. “Jaebum… last night…” the younger prompts and the older glances at him, toast stuck between his lips. He chews and swallows before answering. “You really shouldn’t drink so much, Jin.” The older had worriedly said but the younger shakes his head. “Wait- not my drinking habits. Last night, the two guys we shared a table with… where did they say they stayed and studied?” Jinyoung asks as he lets Nora purr and nuzzle on his leg.

“Oh, Jackson and Mark? They’re from Gwanak-gu. That’s more or less 15 kilometers from here.”

“Oh.”

Jaebum raises an eyebrow at his bestfriend.

“Why? Need me to take you there? Did you leave something with Mark or Jackson?

The way Jaebum mentions Mark makes the younger’s heart feel like it’s going to pop. “Oh. Nothing I… I um… I’ll go out a little bit later. Is that okay?” Jinyoung hopes he isn’t suspicious- Jaebum was always sharp with things like these. The older however, shrugs. “Bring a coat, okay? It’s going to be a little chilly today.” The older says before going back to his breakfast.

Jinyoung returns to his room, cleaning it since it had looked like a mess, taking out the trash, picking out nice clothes that he won’t look like a total loser, fixing up his small library since he’d been reading non-stop these days. A book usually lasts about 2 days for the brunette to finish. The two eats lunch a little later, Jinyoung taking the responsibility of washing the dishes and utensils.

30 minutes before 3, Jinyoung decides that he should start getting ready. He made sure his phone was fully charged, his wallet is right beside his clothes in case he’d need to spend later on things he wanted to buy, his sneakers already prepared and all that’s left was to shower. Once that was out of the way, Jinyoung was dressing up when Jaebum knocks on the door, peeking as Jinyoung was already wearing a pair of jeans and was in the middle of wearing a sweater. “Hey, I was just wondering if you need a lift?” he smiles softly. Jinyoung glances at his friend before shaking his head.

“No worries. I’ll manage. Are you leaving too?” the younger had asked as he moves to his mirror to fix his hair. Jaebum nods. “Yeah. My mom is asking me to come over to get something.” Jinyoung nods mindlessly before unplugging his phone and pocketing his wallet. “Are you leaving now? Can you give your parents my regards?” Jinyoung smiles as his hair is nicely swept back. “I always do,” Jaebum smiles, “I’m leaving now. Don’t forget to lock the door.” Jaebum then leaves, Jinyoung chuckles. “Don’t forget your dorm keys!” Jinyoung calls out and three seconds later, he hears their front door open and close as the younger starts to brush his teeth.

When 3 PM strikes, Jinyoung was ready. He locks their dorm, heads down to the dorm lobby and scans for any signs of Mark anywhere. It took 10 more minutes until Mark arrives with a shy smile. “Sorry I’m late… I got caught in a little bit of traffic.” Mark said apologetically and Jinyoung pouts cutely before laughing. “I can’t really complain since I’m being picked up and treated to coffee for free,” the latter explains with a smile.  They both get into the car, Mark making sure Jinyoung’s wearing the seat belt before driving off.

It was quiet and awkward, Jinyoung isn’t sure if he’s burdening Mark since he had to pick the younger up all the way from Gwanak-gu. He suddenly feels guilty for even asking for free coffee. He then notices that the song playing in the background was in English.

“You… listen to Chris Brown?”

Mark glances at him for a mere second before focusing on the road again.

“Uh, yeah. I like his music.”

“You remind me of someone,” Jinyoung chuckles softly.

Mark hums in curiosity. “One of my friends, Yugyeom. He isn’t in college yet but… we went to the same high school,” Jinyoung says fondly.

“Sounds like a nice kid.” Mark says, turning right and stopping at the end of another car. Red light.

“He is. He’s pretty good at dancing but he’s really tall and lanky. He adores Chris Brown,” the younger of the two says with a smile. Mark nods before smiling. “Chris Brown is a pretty big deal in the US,” the older says with a small smile before stepping on the gas and continue on driving. Again, there it was, the silence. But he doesn’t feel awkward anymore- not when Mark was driving and occupied and Jinyoung has the scenery to admire. They’re both the quiet type but Jinyoung, from time to time, says something about any landmark they pass by. About 30 more minutes of comfortable silence, Mark is parking by a small café that Jinyoung doesn’t seem to be familiar with.

“I… don’t think I’ve been here before…”

Mark smiles and removes his seatbelt before turning the car off.

“I think you’ll like it here.”

Jinyoung is then unbuckling his seatbelt before getting out of the car and shutting the door close. He takes a moment to inspect the café from the outside. It only took him less than 5 seconds to realize what type of café it was. Through the glass walls and aisles of books, this was the library themed café that he had been dying to visit but was too out of the way. Besides, he couldn’t drag Jaebum here. The older had little interest in books and lately, he’s been busy. Slowly, a smile blooms on his face, eyes crinkling into tiny crescents.

“Oh… Oh my god, I’ve been wanting to come here since it opened…”

“I know.”

Jinyoung then turns to Mark, slightly confused. Mark seems to read the younger’s expression, cheeks pinking slightly as he rubs his nape.

“You… mentioned last night. You said you love books and going to cafés… and you’ve really been dying to come here…”

Jinyoung feels his cheeks heat up. _I must have drunk too much_ , the younger grumbles in his mind. He feels warm down to the pit of his stomach and he thinks his heart had skipped beats. He tries not to get ahead of himself- tries to think rationally because what kind of “acquaintance”-ish friend does this? _We just met,_ Jinyoung thought, _am I this easy if I think I have a crush on him?_ Other than that, maybe Mark was really just a sincere friend who always goes an extra mile. Sometimes literally. Besides, Jinyoung knows in himself that his preference had always based on personality and attitude. He hasn’t told Jaebum yet, that odds are, he could like a girl or a boy. Jinyoung isn’t even sure yet so he doesn’t tell anyone. The harsh and confusing tales of being a teenager.

He remembers he’s with Mark and his cheeks are red in embarrassment.

“Y-Yeah… thanks…” he smiles shyly, moving to stand beside Mark before entering. The older tells Jinyoung to go around and look for a book while he buys them coffee. Without much thought, the younger had dashed off to find a book he’s been aching to read or check its availability. He found several books he found interesting, taking out two before searching for a table they can settle in. When he finds a table nearby the glass wall, he sits comfortably and reads while waiting for Mark to arrive.

When he does, Mark sets their coffees on the free space of their coffee before setting down a set of pastries for them to snack on. He sees Mark smiling at him and he smiles back with a soft “Thank You” escaping his lips. Mark then sits down before sipping on his americano. “You seem to enjoy what you’re reading…” the older says before popping a cookie in his mouth. Jinyoung nods before looking at Mark. “I’ve actually been looking for this book. It isn’t available in the nearby bookstores… And it’s really old,” Jinyoung reasons before showing the title. Mark simply nods, pulling out his phone and allowing Jinyoung to enjoy his book.

30 minutes into the comfortable silence and within that time, Jinyoung took glances at the older. He didn’t seem to mind the conversationless company, Jinyoung minding his own business while Mark minded his. He seems a little guilty. The reason why Mark probably wanted to meet up is to get to know each other and share more stories other than last night’s mischief. He puts the book down, page number remembered.

“Hey,” He calls out softly, waving in front of Mark to get his attention in which Mark immediately looks up to him. “I… I’m sorry. I… You must be expecting a conversation and I got caught up in the book…” the brunette rambles shyly and Mark smiles fond, chuckling at how the younger seemed worried. “It’s not a problem. This is technically a library… so reading is the main goal here, right?” he asks softly and Jinyoung feels his heart skip when they made eye contact. “I… uh, I guess this place is the one I picked out because… honestly, I’m not good at talking,” Mark says as he rubs his nape, it being his turn to be shy.  “You could say that I’m really comfortable with silence… and I enjoy your company too.”

He’s really not sure what that meant but he tries not to overthink, that this is normal for people who want to be friends. Jinyoung smiles slightly. “… Yeah? I enjoy your company too, Mark,” the younger says softly, thick lips tugging into a smile. “But I’m sure you’re bored… me just reading here and not talking…” there it was again, the worry in Jinyoungs face and Mark chuckles, showing his phone’s screen that displayed comics. It clicks to Jinyoung. Mark likes to read too--- comics. He likes to read comics.

“Oh, is that a Spiderman comic?

The smile on Mark’s lips grow.

“Hell yeah. I love Spiderman!” there was excitement in his voice, Jinyoung could tell. The brunette sets his book down for a moment to hold on to his coffee and take a sip. “I’m more of an Ironman fan…” he lightly says with a shy chuckle. Before he knows it, Mark is all giddy and excited. “So do you watch Marvel movies?” the older asks, eyes twinkling in excitement. Jinyoung nods, saying that he’s only watched so far was the Ironman franchise, Deadpool, Guardians of the Galaxy franchise, and The Avengers franchise. “I’m so excited for Infinity War!” The older beamed and Jinyoung thinks this is the first time he’s heard Mark speak like this--- he’s been quiet since last night even with stories and liquor.

“You really should watch Homecoming! It’s seriously awesome!”

“I guess I’m not really just… an entire Marvel fan. I know Spiderman, but what does Homecoming have that differs it from the other Spiderman movies?

There’s a grin on Mark’s lips, eyes glinting in amusement.

“Well first off, Ironman is in Homecoming,” Mark smugly says and this surprises Jinyoung

“For real?”

“Would a Marvel fan as myself lie to you?”

“Maybe this is just like a clickbait on the internet, stating something catchy but when you take a look at the real thing, it’s not even involved.”

“You seriously need to watch it.”

“… Fine. I’ll ask Jaebum if he has a copy.”

The conversation drags on when Jinyoung asks why was Mark so enamored with Spiderman. Mark grins wide, explains that he’s learned Martial Arts Tricking while he was in LA. Other than that, he’s pretty good at dancing and tricks, thus being in his university’s pep squad. “Any other qualities that resemble you with Spiderman?” the younger asks and Mark grins, slumping his back on the seat and smoothly answers.

“I’m pretty flexible.”

There’s that mischief twinkling in his eyes before he winks at Jinyoung.

Jinyoung chokes on the cookie he was about to swallow, face flustered and he hears Mark chuckle while moving to pat his back. “C’mon, drink,” the older ushers, handing over Jinyoung’s americano to help push down the cookie. Once Jinyoung is okay and not embarrassed anymore, the younger pouts.

“Does that mean if I try to break your arm in half, you’d still be okay?

Mark simply smiles.

The younger listens intently, the rambles of Mark about the trailer, even going so far as to watch the trailer on his phone and showing it to Jinyoung. It’s nice to listen to Mark like this, excited and passionate about what he likes. And to Jinyoung’s advantage, he’s also learning new thing. Jaebum was a Marvel fan as well, excited for Infinity War but hasn’t really read the comics unlike Mark. Then the older pauses to take a sip of coffee before he’s back to rambling. There’s complains, theories, opinions, and praises. All Jinyoung could do was watch Mark geek out fondly, eyes soft as he watches the older with his chin resting on his hand, interested in both his reactions and stories.

Mark seems to notice how much he’d ramble to Jinyoung, causing him to stop abruptly and blush pink due to embarrassment. “Oh crap… I’m- I-I’m sorry I…” the talkative teen seems to be at a loss of words for now and this amused Jinyoung. “Seriouly I’m… sorry. I was rambling and excited and… you could have probably finished that book by now…” the older seemed apologetic and Jinyoung shook his head. “It’s fine. It was nice hearing your voice, you know?” the younger prompts with a smile. “You’re really quiet… so it’s nice to know you’re comfortable with me if you’re that talkative with things you like,” Jinyoung says before picking up a cookie and taking a bite. “And I learned new things. I can’t believe it’s all connected. That even Deadpool could be included in the Marvel Cinematic Universe… I didn’t think he would be playing a bigger role specially in the comics…”

Mark beams at the statement.

What Jinyoung would give to see Mark this excited.

They ended up extending over dinner time, Jinyoung texting Jaebum to eat take-out instead since he’ll arrive a little late. Over the hours that had passed, Jinyoung felt more and more drawn to Mark. The way he smiles and laughs, his tone switching when he speaks in Korean or English, his habits of using his phone often and his many stories. He felt comfortable with Mark more than the friends he had met over the semester. He… He thinks that Mark is suddenly so significant to him. Sure, the older was good looking, a more-than-decent guy, cute (especially when he’s shy) … but what if this was just all in Jinyoung’s head? What if this forming crush was just all on him? Maybe this was just something he was confused with. Maybe not a crush, but a squish. He likes spending time with Mark, knows Mark well just with a few hours of conversation, is comfortable around him even in silence. Mark is a great guy… but he’s never seen the guy angry or upset. He should be able to know and experience that with Mark should he ever realize the potential of his feelings. They do say that one doesn’t know the true color of the other should they have not yet showed the ugly side of them like anger.

Their night together ended at around 8 PM, Mark drives Jinyoung home as they listened to music, casual conversations here and there before silence ensued. Perhaps the younger is overthinking, but Mark seemed more uneasy and nervous more than earlier during their time in public and discussions.

“I seriously enjoyed today. Thank you,” Jinyoung brings up as he glances at Mark who was too focused on the road. He sees the small tug of Mark’s lips and this eases the younger’s heart. “I’m… glad you agreed, you know. We just met and… it’s really awkward to suddenly invite you out. You could be resting or doing school work…”

“I’m a scholar. I’m smart, I do my take-home works as soon as I arrive home and won’t stop until I finish it even if it means not being able to get a wink of sleep.” Jinyoung says proudly and Mark chuckles. “You should get some rest too, you know. It’s important,” the older says softly and there it was, another moment of silence.

“We’re… uh, we’re friends now, right?

Jinyoung glances at Mark, eyes slightly wide at the older’s question.

“Yeah. Yeah, we’re friends.”

There it was again, the pregnant silence. Jinyoung glances outside, watching the view of people and lit buildings and establishments as they pass through. The silence gives the voice in his head a chance to nag at Jinyoung.

_It’s funny. I just met the guy… and he has gotten me to let my guard down so easily. We’ve met last night as nothing more than acquaintances and a few hours later, I’m in the café that I’ve been aching to visit, being treated by coffee, had been taken to dinner, and have been picked up and driven home buy this… guy. My friend. I suppose he’s my friend. After all the discussions and laughter and woes I’ve learned from him, I suppose that’s what friends do. It’s just weird that… my heart’s been shaking and my stomach has this strange feeling like I’m missing something. Like the world has been trying to say something to me this whole time, but I’m too stupid to figure it out. We’re pretty compatible if we’re talking about… what we like and dislike, what we do- hell, we even study the same program. Is it stupid to think… that fate or destiny brought this for me? For us? I-_

His thoughts are disturbed when Mark taps him and tells him that they’re back in Jinyoung’s dorm building. He jumps slightly, cheeks pink in embarrassment. Mark unbuckles his belt and moves to open the door for Jinyoung who seemed to be dazed while slowly unbuckling his belt. Mark opens the car door for the younger and helps him step out.

“I… I hope you had a great time.”

Jinyoung looks at Mark who blushed and had a shy smile.

“It was more than great. 10/10 would try again,” Jinyoung grins. “I’ll pay for my coffee and meal next time, though,” the brunette says and Mark lets out a relieved chuckle. “Thank you for taking me there, Mark,” he hopes his sincerity is evident in his sleepy voice. They let their chuckles die down, awkward silence surrounding them as they stared not at each other. A moment passes, and Jinyoung is the first to fold. “Anyways… I’ll go in now. Travel safely, okay? Text me when you’re home safe,” Jinyoung had said before moving to retreat to his dorm building until he hears Mark speak so suddenly, so quietly.

_Mark is my friend… and Mark might just be a little bit more._

“ _I like you._ ”

Jinyoung looks at Mark, eyes wide and slightly ajar. Mark looks nervous, embarrassed, panicking. Jinyoung feels his cheeks heat up at this weird confession. Was Mark serious? There was no smirk nor mirth in his eyes like the times he had teased and joked with the younger… and it has Jinyoung’s heart skipping. Mark looked like he wished the Jinyoung understood what he said in English. Either he wishes the brunette understood… or not at all. The older could only hope for the good results to bloom from his sudden and bold statement. The younger tries to break the tension by chuckling softly before shaking his head, as if he couldn’t believe the older’s words. “Of course you do,” the brunet grinned before waving and turning his back so that he can walk towards his dorm building.

Mark can only watch the younger leave, a soft sigh leaving his lips. Maybe Jinyoung had misunderstood what he was trying to say. The older wished he was better in Korean, better at words, better at This. Maybe he’ll give it a try if he figures out a way not to embarrass himself once again. Maybe in 10 years. Mark leaves one last glance at the figure retreating to the dorm building before walking back to his car when he hears Jinyoung call out to him once more.

There he was, Jinyoung standing by the dorm’s threshold with a warm smile on his face and reddened cheeks.

“ _I like you too._ ”

 


	2. Car Song

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes music can be but a subtle message.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm grateful for the positive responses to my first ever fanfic! Thank you so much!  
> Also, Emi my mom, I tried following your advice. I think it looks better and really easier to read!  
> Chan, I'm sorry for doing this HAHA!
> 
> Chapter 2 theme song: https://open.spotify.com/track/0oHwlJvRxOZ3vqdPbNuB5C

The spring semester is about to end for Jinyoung and Jaebum as well as their friends in Gwanak-gu. With final exams left to worry about, they put so much effort into their studies, particularly Jaebum from the engineering department. The weekend before finals week, they spent their Saturday in their respective room simply studying. What should have been meals shared together had been prepared individually and eaten in their own time from their room.

By 3 PM, they hear their alarms from their phone, signifying an hour break from studying to keep themselves sane. Jinyoung let goes of his readings and moves to stretch while Jaebum let goes of his notebook, groaning as he moves to the living room, his cat Nora following suit. Once the two are in their living room, looking so dead on the inside like any other college student on finals week, they share a quick glance at each other before letting out a quiet chuckle.

“I think I’m going insane,” Jaebum slumps on the couch, head leaning back as he stares at the ceiling. Nora mewls, moving to climb the couch and settle on her owner’s lap. “Why did I take up engineering? Computer engineering at that?”

Jinyoung huffs as he reaches for the remote and turns the tv on before slumping on the couch beside Jaebum. “Because you’re good at computers. I think,” the younger says, somewhat confused and out of himself. They’ve been busy the past week, completing requirements, submitting due work, performing presentations here and there. It was hell week, and now the next week was part two of it: Finals Week.

As much as Jinyoung doesn’t want to admit it, he’s been having a hard time focusing. He’s smart, driven, competitive. But when he was studying methods for business plans, his mind drifts to something else quite quickly. He’d been thinking of Mark frequently. They communicate regularly, see each other weekly…

It’s what makes Jinyoung think. It’s what takes all of his attention and focus.

He’d been going out on “adventures” with Mark every weekend since meeting him. Sometimes, they met up during the weekday as well, when Jinyoung’s professor for Economics class was out of town for the day and Mark’s classes had ended early, they had met half way and had coffee, spending the afternoon walking around and looking around while holding on to their coffee cups. Sometimes they would go out with Jackson and/or Jaebum too.

Ever since the “I like you” moment, Jinyoung’s been easily distracted. He really couldn’t tell anyone about it. He was a guy who liked to move about with his brain rather than his heart and his emotions. He was also a private person, and because he was still unsure of it, he never said anything. Not even to Jaebum. He trusted Jaebum, so much that he would trust Jaebum with his life… he’d tell him everything and anything, but this? This was something he just couldn’t talk about just yet. Jaebum had grown up knowing Jinyoung wasn’t interested with dating or crushes.

_Normally, on the weekends Mark and Jinyoung had shared with each other, it’s usually Mark picking up the younger from their dorm before they head off to where ever the road takes them. Sometimes they plan it out, sometimes they just wander. When the four of them had time, they’d all meet to study together- mainly teach Mark and Jackson Korean._

_During their times together, they don’t speak a lot. Not that they have nothing to talk about, but rather, they just feel comfortable in silence with Mark’s stereo playing music for them. They save their conversations for later, the car ride smooth and comforting with each other’s presence._

_Sometimes Jinyoung would glance out, he would try to look at Mark through the tint of the window and he’d admire the fond expression the older had while driving. Sometimes, he’d tell a little bit about his week, like how he had auditioned for Theater, that Nora had clawed at his jeans, that he’d had this stupid conversation with Jaebum. Mark would smile, take quick glances at the younger, would make a small and quick comment. Sometimes, Mark would talk about his own week. He’d say that Coco had been groomed, that Jackson’s been doing Yoga and has been trying to rope the older in, that he accidentally drank spoiled milk earlier._

_Then, he’d remember the music they’ve been listening too. It was a good way to connect with each other, through music. Some of the songs are familiar only to Jinyoung, the others only familiar to Mark. Some in English, some in Korean. They listen to music randomly, like there was a nostalgic song about being in the neighborhood where you grew up in, a song about being prepared to face life and all that it has to offer, a love song about being in love and hurting alone, and being allowed to be by the other’s side and hold their hand. There were a lot more, but mostly, Jinyoung seems to like these songs. Jinyoung would ask about the American songs while Mark would ask about the Korean ones. It was comfortable._

_Being with Mark while travelling and listening to music in silence is comfortable._

_Just a week ago, Mark and Jinyoung simply watched a movie that the younger had been dying to see. They would have invited Jaebum and Jackson with them, but the two were pretty busy. Jaebum was busy programming while Jackson had to do his plates. The older was quiet all throughout the movie except when he didn’t understand anything or when the conversations were too fast to follow. They only had time to watch a movie. With hell week then finals, there wasn’t much time even if they’d wanted to. There was, however, a promise._

_“After finals, let’s go for a drink. Like… some post-semester congratulations for surviving the first semester,” Mark had offered as they got into the car._

_“Oh. Sure. I’ll tell Jaebum,” Jinyoung had softly said as he wears his seatbelt. He glances at Mark who seemed a little hesitant. The younger raises an eyebrow at Mark’s reaction and the older sighed._

_“I was… kind of hoping that it would be just… you and me, if it’s okay.”_

_Oh._

_Jinyoung rubs his nape, somewhat embarrassed. Mark slumps on his seat and tries to smile. “It’s okay if you want Jaebum and Jackson to come over. I’m sure they need to let off some steam too,” Mark adds._

_The younger of the two shakes his head before humming. “What if… we go do that on Friday night, when finals really end,” Jinyoung says tentatively before adding, “then we can just… go have a drink on Saturday night. Just the two of us…?”_

_Mark glances at Jinyoung like… he wasn’t expecting it at all. Summer vacation was drawing near and the older was sure they all had their plans for the break. He was expecting Jinyoung to be leaving for summer break, to go back home with his family. But no, Jinyoung will still be here, offering him drinks the following night._

_Just the two of us._

_It rings nicely in Mark’s head. The older slowly nods, a smile tugging at his lips before he starts the car and drives off to drop Jinyoung back to their dorm. The rest of their trip is quiet, except for Mark’s stereo. This must be the most common song Jinyoung has heard in Mark’s car, thinking that this must be so timely. Too timely._

As a smile fell from your face, I fell with it  
Our faces blue  
There’s a heart stain on the carpet  
I left it, I left it with you

_Jinyoung glances at Mark, the younger slumped against his seat as he tries to take in the older’s features. How his hair is bleached and gently sweeping just above his eyes, his cheekbones slightly defined, his lips resting as a thin line, and his eyes focused on the road._

Yeah, the truth is that I’m sorry  
Though I told you not to worry  
It’s just some don’t care  
Trying to kid myself  
That I got my shit together

 _Honestly, Jinyoung thinks he does have his shit together when it’s scattered all over. He and Mark has their frequent meetings but not once had spoken about what Jinyoung assumes to be a subtle confession. Maybe they were still trying to figure things out, figure out if they both want this, figure out what do they really feel for each other. Maybe Jinyoung was just over thinking this- he does in fact lose sleep over this. Because as far as he can tell, his closeness with Mark had been growing with the days well-spent or wasted away with him. And as much as it scares him, as much as his mind keeps trying to shut down these feelings as a defense mechanism, he can’t help but_ feel _them. There was no reprieve from logic or rationality. All he has are feelings that are slowly growing and he’s not sure if he’s scared or anticipating for it to bloom._

So go get running, won’t you hurry  
While it’s light out, while it’s early  
Before I start to miss, any part of this  
And change my mind whatever

_“You okay?” Mark asks him with concern in his voice, eyes finally turning to Jinyoung. The latter realizes they have stopped for a red light._

_“Y… Yeah.” Jinyoung also realizes that he’s been so caught up in his thoughts that he’d stop breathing for a moment when he finally exhales. Mark doesn’t look convinced so Jinyoung gives him a small smile._

_“I was just… thinking. Y’know, how feelings could be scary,” the younger prompts, a low-key way to maybe bring up the conversation. Mark’s face is blank but he can see how the older’s eyes glistened for a moment. Just when Jinyoung thinks he isn’t getting a reply, Mark speaks up._

_“I know. I… It’s just y’know, difficult sometimes… specially if you’re not used to it,” Mark softly says before finally driving again when the light turns green. “Maybe some people want to lower their guards… but it’s just really difficult. They want to lower their guards but maybe it’s a little hard but maybe they’re trying,” it sounded like he was trying to imply something._

_Jinyoung nods, honestly feelings the same way. “Yeah, you’re right.”_

_There was silence for a moment before Jinyoung tries to melt the awkwardness with a small conversation._

_“This song, this plays quite often when we’re together,” Jinyoung says as he checks the title._

_“Maybe it’s because we’re lost boys who aren’t ready to be found,” the older replies with a small smile and it makes Jinyoung chuckle._

_“But we found each other, right?” Jinyoung suddenly says and it colors his cheeks pink when he realized what he was trying to imply. Or maybe what Mark might think he was implying._

_“I suppose the better term would be… together but not ready to be found,” Mark’s voice sounds fond, as if he was the one who was trying to imply that they ARE together._

_“How dare you imply we’re together!” Jinyoung laughs at what he thinks Mark was joking and the latter laughs as well._

_“Aren’t we?”_

_“You’re so weird.”_

_Aren’t we?_

It keeps ringing in Jinyoung’s head. It… could just mean so many things. They were together in a literal sense, their “adventures” had been done in secret. Of course, they were in secret- they didn’t want Jackson or Jaebum making pouty faces for going without them or… or assume that things might be going on between them when they themselves aren’t so sure. But are they really… like that? Together? Were those adventures actually dates? He needed context, he needed direct words and labels. It screwed Jinyoung over in more ways than one, and he couldn’t just ask Mark straight up.

Lost deep in thought, he then feels Nora paw at his thighs and start kneading on them. He yelps, feeling the claws sink on his sweat pants and slightly on his skin. Jaebum laughs softly at the reaction and carries Nora back to his lap. “You were spacing out. You might have gone temporarily insane from studying,” the older prods.

Jinyoung huffs, too tired to retaliate. “Yeah… I think I might be going a little insane,” the younger had simply agreed, voice dripping with exhaustion as he moves to lay down on the couch, head resting on the older’s thighs. “I think I’m gonna lose my mind,” he theorizes.

He closes his tired eyes for a moment and the next, he feels Jaebum running his fingers through his hair. It helps him relax that it might help him fall asleep. He faintly hears Jaebum chuckle and mumble something about having a very big collegiate cat. He would have hit him but Jaebum was just so warm and he was just so sleepy that… he really just falls asleep.

Jaebum however, continues to run his fingers through Jinyoung’s soft and silky hair.  Eyes fond over his best friend’s sleeping figure and he knows for sure, definitely knows for sure that something was bothering the younger. He didn’t want to pry and he always waited for Jinyoung to approach him. He knows the younger can handle himself and will get help when he really has no more choice. They were like that and it has always been that way.

But sometimes… Jaebum wished he could do something. He wished he could help ease the younger with something else rather than just presence or support. He wishes he could talk, he wishes he could do something, wishes he could take away the edge off of Jinyoung immediately. He didn’t want to be just the extra tight and long hug Jinyoung needs sometimes when things are tough, not just a “drinking buddy” because Jinyoung wants to numb down the words of his pressuring parents, not just the best friend who was ready to be by his side when Jinyoung is almost torn at the seams. He’d seen all sides of Jinyoung… but there’s nothing much he can do.

Nora jumps off the couch to nuzzle against her owner’s ankle, loud purrs vibrating from her throat before she meows at her owner. Jaebum can only look at his cat with an apologetic smile.

He doesn’t know how he does it, but he’s made it. They made it. They managed to survive finals week with a single thought of “I don’t even know how I did but whatever, I’m just glad it’s fucking over”. Jinyoung was sure he passed his business classes, not very sure with his algebra and physics class. But you know what? Fuck it. Jinyoung’s exams had finished earlier, around 3 PM so he goes to the canteen to get some coffee and snack while he waits for Jaebum.

 **Jinyoung Park**  
3:16 PM  
I feel so dead on the inside.

 **Mark Tuan**  
3:16 PM  
Give me a moment. I’m still taking my economics exams. Sorry!

 **Jinyoung Park**  
3:17 PM  
WTF I’M SORRY!

 **Jinyoung Park**  
3:17 PM  
ALSO! IF YOU’RE TAKING EXAMS RIGHT NOW WHY ARE YOU HOLDING YOUR PHONE???

 **Mark Tuan**  
3:18 PM  
I’m talented.

Jinyoung couldn’t believe this. Was Mark cheating? Was Mark simply just making an effort to answer his texts despite taking an exam? He’d know later. He decides to text Jackson, perhaps the Hong-Kong national is free at the moment.

 **Jinyoung Park**  
3:21 PM  
So are we still good to go later tonight?

 **Jackson Wang**  
3:25 PM  
Yes. I need to get thrashed, man. I don’t even know half of the shit I read on my exam sheets.

 **Jinyoung Park**  
3:26 PM  
Cheers for dying college students. I’ll see you later.

 **Jackson Wang**  
3:30 PM  
Later!

When Jaebum’s exams had finished, it was already 5:30 PM and Jinyoung is there to greet him outside of the classroom. Jaebum looked like he just spent the last 3 hours in the toilet with no tissues while he had diarrhea. He looks paler than usual and looks like he’s one cough away from dropping dead.

“Good work,” Jinyoung greets as he takes his exhausted best friend into his arms and gives him a tight hug. “Ah, open wide, get some sugar in your system,” the younger pulls away as he feeds the older with a slice of brownies. Jaebum melts at the taste, groaning in pleasure of finally having food in his system.

Jinyoung hands him a bottle of water and smiles at him. “Get some rest for a while then we can go,” he prompts softly and Jaebum shakes his head.

“I was asleep half of the exams because I literally know nothing. I’m going to fail. I’m going to repeat this subject and my parents will kill me. They’ll send me to military school instead,” the older rambles and Jinyoung huffs, nudging Jaebum on the shoulder.

“They won’t. You’re gonna pass your classes and we’ll graduate together. On time!” the younger says and Jaebum just sighs. He was about to argue, but both of them are tired, both of them are dead, both of them just want to drink booze to forget about the week in it’s entirety.

“Come on, let’s go. Let’s drop by the dorm first so I can feed Nora before we go,” Jaebum says as he starts walking with Jinyoung. When they get to their dorm, Jinyoung changes his top while Jaebum feeds his cat. They drop off their things first too before leaving for Gwanak-gu. It’s been decided that they would celebrate there this time.

There’s not much to talk about with Jaebum during their travel. They both didn’t want to talk about exams, or how their studies went, or their grades. Sure, Jinyoung was smart, but after stepping into college, it made him feel like he was stupid and clueless. They already know each other’s plans for summer break: Jaebum and Jinyoung will go home to their families two weeks after finals. They just wanted to clean up the dorm and just… have some time to relax on their own.  

Other than that, there’s only silence and Jaebum’s phone connected to the car’s speakers.

Jaebum loves music. He loves to dance. He appreciates all kinds of music so it’s nice listening to Jaebum’s playlist because there’s always something new, something unique. Jinyoung usually jams to the songs, appreciates them. Jaebum jams with him from time to time, sings time to time. The older does have a powerful vocal, Jinyoung admits. But then there’s this song in Jaebum’s playlist that doesn’t quite fit in with the dance music or the rock music in it. And most of all, Jinyoung thinks he’s been hearing this song for almost a year now.

 _What am I to do?_  
_When I want nothing new_  
_And all I wanted was you_  
_In different shades of blue_

“You’re still listening to this?” Jinyoung softly asks the older. All he receives was a nod.

 _But things don’t go that way_  
_In every shade of gray_  
_And I belong on this side of the sea_

“I like the song,” Jaebum then says, quietly, as if he was holding something back.

“Why?”

“… I just do.”

_We’re tired and all we ever wanted  
All we needed was to shed a bit of light_

The song goes through and Jinyoung starts singing along. “ _What am I to do, when I can’t get through to you?_ ” he sings softly to Jaebum in hopes of a proper response but all he gets is a scoff and a small smile.

“ _Try to paint you off in black,_ ” Jaebum sings quietly, not quite trusting his voice as his Korean accent drips with each syllable, “ _But you left me just with shades of blue._ ”

They both give each other a smile, letting it linger for a moment before they settle into their own spaces.

About an hour and a half more of travelling, they finally make it to Gwanak-gu, Jinyoung dictating directions from the online map he was reading. It took them 30 minutes more to find the bar and Jinyoung beams at the sight of the familiar car parked just outside of it. They both got out of the car and made their way through it. The bar wasn’t loud or crowded- it had look and felt casual. Honestly, this is what they needed, something light and quiet, and booze. They need booze.

Looking around, they spot Mark and Jackson rather quickly and hurriedly makes way to their booth. Jinyoung and Jaebum settle to the seats across the other two and greets them with tired smiles. Jackson seriously looked like he hasn’t slept in a month while Mark looked like he was definitely stressed. Jinyoung gives the older a tired smile and the latter seems to reciprocate it.

They have quiet dinner, trying to replenish all the energy lost and wasted on exams, Jinyoung and Mark exchanging eye contact and share knowing looks with each other while eating. After eating, they’re going on and about stories. Their plans for summer vacation and how exams were. He finds out that while Jackson is going home to Hong-Kong for the break, Mark is deciding to stay behind since his parents were on vacation too.

Dinner was merely a formality. They just needed to fill their stomachs, skipped out on lunch to study and it was pretty necessary before drinking. Once they were all well fed and full, they start ordering booze and snacks to go along with it. Jinyoung didn’t want to drink to oblivion right now and Jaebum was supposed to drive them back later so neither of them are willing to get drunk tonight. Jackson however, wants to drink as much as he could. He needed some sort of relief and Mark? Mark was the same with Jaebum. He shouldn’t get drunk since he was driving the two of them tonight. Other than that, Jinyoung and Mark had plans of drinking the next day.

 _Just the two of them_.

The somber atmosphere slowly shifts. From the dead college students who studied that they think their eyebrows had burned off but took exams that made them feel like they studied the wrong curriculum to the I-don’t-give-a-shit-anymore-so-let-me-just-live-my-life-and-enjoy-the-moment-because-my-parents-are-gonna-kill-me-anyway-since-the-exams-didn’t-kill-me mood. Jackson was telling a story about how they broke into a locked classroom just because they needed a space to hang out in and how Jackson learned how to open doors just using his ID.

Jaebum is laughing in disbelief before taking a sip from his beer while Jinyoung turns away from the three before he takes a shot of soju before letting out a small hiss. Mark chuckles at Jinyoung, somewhat finding it cute and funny how the brunet drinks liquor. Jinyoung furrows his brows, lower lip jutting into a pout. “What?” the younger had asked.

“I just… noticed every time you took a shot, you’d turn away from us when we know you’re drinking,” Mark says softly.

“It’s… culture. It’s just a sign of respect for the older people, y’know?” Jinyoung breathes out, eyes blinking once before looking up at Mark. “Korean culture.”

Mark simply nods. “You know, in American bars, we drink chasers with liquor like vodka,” the blond softly says to Jinyoung, “Vodka is like soju.” He adds.

Jinyoung hums, pouring himself another shot, taking it in his right hand while he takes his glass of iced tea with his left. “Like this?” the youngest had asked. Mark nods.

“Take the entire shot down, then take a sip from your iced tea,” Mark instructs as he watches Jinyoung go through with it. The younger downs the liquor in one gulp, trying not to hiss at the burning liquor slithering down his throat before he takes a sip of his iced tea. He doesn’t look comfortable, but the blend does feel better than just the liquor in itself.

“Why do you have… “chasers”?” Jinyoung suddenly asks as he puts his shot glass down.

“Well… it helps with not getting drunk so easily. Mixes with the alcohol and helps with the burn. You drink cocktails, right? It’s like that,” Mark explains with a small smile, pouring himself a shot of soju before drinking it all down and taking a sip of his cola with a satisfied sigh. “Can’t get drunk. Gotta get me and Jackson back at the dorms safely.”

“Why didn’t we just order cocktails then? Why separate the liquor and chaser?” Jinyoung asks, curiosity tugging at him. Mark’s eyes crinkle slightly when he laughs softly.

“Cocktails are drinks when you want the alcohol content lower. You separate liquor and chaser when you want the liquor content stronger. I guess you could say that if you’re here for a casual conversation with definitely no intention to get wasted or at least want it to last long before getting wasted, then drink cocktails. If you kinda just wanna unwind, like, actually taste the alcohol more than the iced tea or juice or soda, then just drink liquor accompanied by a chaser,” Mark says with a little uncertainty, as if he wasn’t sure how to phrase all of it in Korean. “Or something like that. It’s my opinion at the very least,” the older adds.

Jinyoung nods in understanding. It’s nice learning new things, especially if it’s from Mark.

They start drinking a little bit more but definitely accompanied by snacks to keep themselves sober. The stories are here and there, earning laughs and interest from everyone, questions asked here and there thrown around. The mood is lifted and they pretty much feel better already with their exams very much put behind them. The conversations shared is nice and light, heart-warming, even. There were struggles indeed, the foreigners also had home-sickness. Jinyoung and Jaebum understands. It must be hard for them to be studying abroad.

Then there’s joking around and teasing, talking about girls in campus. Jackson was quite the eye-candy and heart-throb. Jinyoung says that Jaebum’s being flooded with girls often and Jaebum’s cheeks flush.

“Hey, I’m not interested, okay?” Jaebum had grumbled and Jinyoung raises his brows at this.

“C’mon man, you had girlfriends in high school,” Jinyoung had reminded and this caused his best friend to let out a pitiful whine.

“Jaebum is like my son. I have to keep an eye out for him or he’ll drown in his sea of girls,” the brunet laughs softly and Jaebum feels his cheeks burn.

“Yeah well, Jinyoung is like my mom. He’s like a wine mom. You know, like those memes on the internet? He’s savage, pretty much drinks, will fight you, is sweet to everyone but hell on his children,” Jaebum retaliates and earns a laugh from Mark and Jackson.

“Well, I’m pretty sure Jinyoung has girls swooning over him too. Oh- I’m sorry. Prince Jinyoung,” Jackson says with a smug grin and Jinyoung just scoffs. He’s been called a prince since he was in high school, it’s really no surprise if he’s still being called that until now. He has matured over the years.

“Mark is handsome too. Cheekbones and pretty eyes,” Jinyoung says without thinking and when he glances at the eldest, Mark looks like he’s shocked and embarrassed as well.

“Shut up,” Mark says softly, trying to throw away the compliment but Jinyoung huffs.

“No way. You’re really handsome you know? Right? Right?” Jinyoung asks Jaebum and Jackson who definitely agrees with Jinyoung’s threatening gaze. “You… look more like a prince more than me, honestly,” Jinyoung says with a small fond smile directed at Mark.

They only stay until 10 PM, wanting to get back to their respective dorms not too late and without going over their drinking limit. They part ways after splitting the bill and a promise to meet again soon, preferably, before the Fall term begins. When Mark and Jinyoung part, they linger on eye contact for a moment too long, unspoken words already understood with a promise of tomorrow together.

Jinyoung is awake the entire trip back to Dongdaemun-gu, soft conversations with Jaebum flowing here and there, but Jinyoung is waiting for a text from Mark saying that they got back safely.

“It’s nice spending time with them, right?” Jinyoung suddenly brings up. Jaebum only glances at his best friend for a moment before humming.

“It’s refreshing,” the older says softly. Jinyoung definitely agrees.

There’s a soft bell from Jinyoung’s phone, signifying as a text message had been received.

 **Mark Tuan**  
10:52 PM  
We’re back at the dorm! Travel safely, Prince Jinyoung!

Jinyoung couldn’t help but smile.

 **Jinyoung Park**  
10:53 PM  
I can’t believe even you are calling me that.

 **Mark Tuan**  
10:53 PM  
You do look like a prince though. You even have the stride of one.

 **Jinyoung Park**  
10:54 PM  
Then you better treat me like royalty!

 **Mark Tuan**  
10:54 PM  
Your wish is my command, my prince.

_My prince._

Jinyoung tries to keep a blank expression. He feels his cheeks warm up, his stomach swirling with butterflies, and his head was light from it all.

“You okay?” Jaebum asks softly as he drives. “You look a little sick.”

Jinyoung just… nods.

“Maybe too much of everything.”

“Take a nap.”

And so he does. When Jinyoung wakes up, Jaebum is already parking by the dorm building. He sits up properly and looks around.

“Thank God you’re awake. I don’t have to carry your ass anymore,” Jaebum says with relief and Jinyoung just pouts.

“You do know you could have woken me up every time, right?” Jinyoung huffs as he unbuckles his seatbelt while Jaebum turns off the car.

“You do know that every time you fall asleep drunk, you don’t wake up until 7 hours later, right?” the older had countered before taking off his own seatbelt and exiting the car with Jinyoung.

They both return to their shared dorm and retreats to their room after brushing their teeth and changing into comfortable clothes. Jinyoung had managed to text Mark that they had gotten home safely before passing out on his bed. It was Jaebum who had turned off his lights and tucked him into bed that night.

When Jinyoung wakes up a little past 10 AM, he wakes up to an empty dorm. When he’s up and about in the kitchen for food, he finds a note plastered on the fridge.

_Jinyoungie,_

_I went out to take Nora to the vet. After that, I’m heading to Gangnam today. I’ll be home late. Text me, okay? I left lunch on the table._

_Jaebum_

Jinyoung just chuckles, moving to go get a pair of chopsticks and a glass of water so that he could eat. After eating, he cleans up the kitchen for a while before moving back to his room. He flops on his bed, reaching for his phone and scrolling through his messages. There’s one from his mom, reminding him to come home in two weeks and then there’s his older sister asking what size was his shirt. Then there are messages from Mark he had left unattended since last night.

 **Mark Tuan**  
12:31 AM  
That’s good to hear. Sleep well, okay? Drink lots of water.

 **Mark Tuan**  
8:39 AM  
When you have Jackson for a roommate, everything is so bright and lively in the morning. And sometimes it’s a good thing, that his energy wakes me up a little too early.

 **Mark Tuan**  
9:02 AM  
You should grab some food when you wake up and drink lots of water.

 **Mark Tuan**  
9:28 AM  
I’ll pick you up at 5 PM. We’re going a little further this time.

Jinyoung couldn’t help but smile fondly as he types in his reply.

 **Jinyoung Park**  
11:22 AM  
Okay. I ate brunch. Going further?

 **Mark Tuan**  
11:24 AM  
I found some 80’s themed place. A little further away from both of us.

 **Jinyoung Park**  
11:25 AM  
Retro. Nice.

Jinyoung isn’t sure what to wear. He doesn’t want to seem overdressed or a little too prepared. Maybe just casual clothes, a pair of jeans and sneakers, a t-shirt, and a flannel. Yes, that definitely sounds like a plan instead of looking like some nerdy who sticks out like a sore thumb.

He decides to text Jaebum about his plans for tonight.

 **Jinyoung Park**  
11:27 AM  
Hey, I’m going out. Is that okay?

 **Jaebum Im**  
11:27 AM  
Sure??? Why are you asking me?

 **Jinyoung Park**  
11:27 AM  
You’re my dormmate. You’d go batshit crazy if you get home with me missing for more than 5 hours without a single message.

 **Jaebum Im**  
11:29 AM  
Okay. Fair enough. Where are you going?

Jinyoung pauses to think for a moment before hesitantly typing.

 **Jinyoung Park**  
11:32 AM  
Theater club dinner.

 **Jaebum Im**  
11:32 AM  
Oh. Okay. Tell me if you want me to pick you up later.

 **Jinyoung Park**  
11:33 AM  
Thanks, Jae. You’re the best.

 **Jaebum Im**  
11:34 AM  
Of course.

And that was that.

Jinyoung is picked up by Mark at 5 PM, dressed up in all black from his sneakers to his skinny jeans to his black long-sleeve shirt only to be adorned by his silver necklace and a silver watch. When Jinyoung finally looks at Marks’ face, he notices the blond hair was swept up and his ears glimmered with a piercing from each lobe. Jinyoung takes a sharp breath in before carefully breathing out.

_Now who looks like a prince between the two of us?_

“Are you going to just stare at me all day?” Mark suddenly speaks up, eyes gazing at Jinyoung before his lips tug into a smug grin. Jinyoung just scoffs as he rolls his eyes, walking towards Mark’s car before getting in.

The drive there was indeed long. There was just silence as if both of them didn’t want to talk- or perhaps couldn’t talk. Maybe they had too much on their mind that they couldn’t spill it. So, both of them simply settle on listening to music while they travel.

And there it was again, the song that seemed to play every time they were together in this car.

 _I don’t care much for locks on the window_  
To keep me at bay  
I live you one last kiss on your pillow  
‘Fore I fly I way

 _Yeah when you found a beginning_  
That this wasn’t ever ending  
Shouldn’t stay too long  
‘Cause we’re both too young to give into forever

And maybe Jinyoung really was just reading too much into this. Looking for significance in every small action they both relay to each other. Maybe Jinyoung really was just… over-thinking. That maybe… maybe he should just enjoy his time with Mark without thinking. Just… carelessly spend time with him. Maybe the answers will come when life or fate or the universe thinks he’s ready.

Two hours into travelling, they finally arrive at this bar Mark had taken him to. It seemed dull from the outside but on the inside, it really gave off that 80’s kind of restaurant vibe. It may be dim, but the neon lights and signs, road signs, graffiti, Christmas lights. One who has a thirst for aesthetics would definitely be recommended to go here. The music plays lightly on the background, different people chattering idly and drinking and eating.

It’s breath-taking.

“ _Are you just going to stand there, Jin?_ ” Mark asks him in English, tone light yet teasing as he makes his way through the crowd, disappearing into it as he glances at Jinyoung with a smug grin.

The younger yelps, moving quickly with his feet so that he could catch up to Mark. He’d thought he lost him, but there he was, settled in a booth that had faint lighting from the neon signs adorning the walls. He huffs, storming straight towards the older.

“You’re acting really strange today.” Jinyoung slides to the seat across Mark, a pout tugging at his lips. This causes Mark to chuckle before shaking his head.

“I just… feel comfortable. And it’s fun teasing you,” Mark says with mirth in his eyes, his grin still ever-present and it makes Jinyoung’s heart twist.

Jinyoung rolls his eyes. “What ever happened to treating me like royalty?” the younger had prompted and Mark’s grin simply turns into a gentle smile.

“I’m treating you to drinks as a gift, for doing well this semester,” Mark says softly and Jinyoung chokes on his spit, with no grace similar of a prince’s.

“Why are you treating me? I didn’t tell you to treat me!” Jinyoung coughs out with furrowed brows.

“I wanted to,” the older simply replies.

“I don’t want you to treat me!” the younger whines.

This has Mark laughing, before he smiles, “How about, we split the bill?” the older then offers and Jinyoung nods with an expression far too serious.

Through the night, Jinyoung and Mark are immersed in a conversation about themselves, definitely getting to know each other more. There’s stories about childhood, high school, mischievous adventures, and their friends back home. They exchange stories through drinks, mostly cocktail because neither of them has the intention of getting drunk to the point of not remembering this night.

When their stories die down for a breather, Jinyoung can hear an American song playing in the background about giving away his youth in exchange for enjoyment and freedom. It sounds nice, freedom. He then takes in his surroundings, how the chatter simply blends nicely with the music, how every single person here is living in the moment as he was, their features highlighted by neon signs of different colors.

He then has his eyes on Mark who was staring at him and he wasn’t sure what it was he was seeing in the older’s eyes. Was it admiration? Curiosity? Fondness? What? He raises an eyebrow at the older as if he was gesturing him to speak up.

“I missed you.”

Jinyoung becomes deaf for a moment, only hearing Mark’s words.

He tries not to look or sound surprised.

“We just saw each other last night.”

Mark shrugs, slumping on his seat as his eyes fall to stare at his red cup.

“I missed being alone with you.”

Then he sees Mark’s eyes flicker, eyes staring up at Jinyoung who’s face was reddening with each passing second with Mark’s gaze on him. He smiles wryly, finally breaking eye contact as he lets out a shy laugh.

“I missed you too.”

Their conversations continue to grow deeper into the night, sharing more stories about their lives before they met each other, the laughter, the sighs, the tears. And that night concluded with Jinyoung and Mark setting back to Dongdaemun-gu by 9 PM. Jinyoung feels all warm and mushy inside and from what he can tell, Mark was the same too. He was extremely happy. Inside the car, they shared a smile before Mark drives off.

And there it was, the stupid song playing for them once again.

 _I say I wanna settle down_  
Build your hopes up like a tower  
I’m giving you the run around  
I’m just a lost boy  
Not ready to be found

And maybe, just maybe, Jinyoung was really a lost boy. In the story of Peter Pan, the Lost Boys in Neverland were always happy. They didn’t grow up and were happy as they were. Maybe this was what Jinyoung needed. He was happy being like this with Mark and maybe his happiness was genuine because at such a young age, he had experienced growing up and being mature due to his parents and their expectations. And then there was fear because he knows, God knows, that every time you are happy, so genuinely happy… bad things will happen. What comes up must go down.

And Jinyoung? He won’t let his thoughts consume him. He’ll let his feelings grow. He’ll allow himself to be happy. He wants to stay in Neverland a little bit longer. Maybe never leave. He, perhaps, really is a lost boy. A lost boy who’s not ready to be found.

Perhaps both him and Mark were lost boys.

Jinyoung smiles to himself, fondly, before gazing at Mark who seemed happy and satisfied by his own thoughts. He takes a deep breath, left hand moving to cover over Mark’s right hand that rest idly by the clutch. Mark glances over at Jinyoung, somewhat startled, before he returns the fond smile and giving space between his fingers so that Jinyoung can slightly entwine them. It was warm, Jinyoung’s hand on top of his, and it also warms up Mark’s cheeks.

They both smile, fondly as they move forward, deep into the night.

Together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mark's car song: LOST BOY by Troye Sivan  
> Jaebum's car song: Different Shades of Blue by The Building
> 
> I bet you're wondering or assuming why Jaebum has a car song ;)
> 
> Songs mentioned and is nice to listen while reading this:  
> \- Suburbia by Troye Sivan  
> \- The Adventure by Angels and Airwaves  
> \- I NEED U by BTS  
> \- Let Me by GOT7  
> \- YOUTH by Troye Sivan
> 
> Chapter 3 is halfway finished so... :^)


	3. Masks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What do we hide behind the mask we wear?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3 theme song: https://open.spotify.com/track/6La9mVrs8l0pYHYmzQKAhy

Jinyoung had read several books and concepts about one hiding their inner thoughts, feelings, the real self underneath a mask. It’s not that they were being fake, Jinyoung thinks, perhaps that they were trying to protect themselves, to protect other people, or for any other reason one can possibly come up with. Jinyoung’s seen these concepts from books to video games, like the one Jaebeom’s been so excited for. The series of it, Jinyoung’s managed to play the third sequel of it, Jaebeom being such an enthusiast managed to play from the first up to the fourth. He’s just waiting for the fifth one.

But then it has Jinyoung thinking.

Everyone does indeed wear a mask. He knows Jaebeom wears a mask too- that behind the tough exterior, the confident, the somewhat introvert-like attitude, the short-tempered engineer-to-be is fragile on the inside. He cries too, he has his soft sides like whenever he comes across a stray cat, he’s pretty silly too. And most of all, Jaebeom thinks a lot. There’s a lot of thoughts going on in there and sometimes, he knows his best friend loses to these thoughts. He pretends not to hear the breaking voice behind his frustrations, he pretends not to see how close Jaebeom was to crying when he couldn’t figure things out.

The thing is, everyone has a reason why they wore them.

Jinyoung wears a mask too. He wears a mask because his parents perceive him to be perfect, everyone else perceives him as a prince. Because he was smart, he was handsome, he was from an upper-class family, he was talented. He has a standard to live up to… and Jaebeom is the only one who’s managed to see through that mask. He’s seen Jinyoung break into pieces when it becomes too much, seen Jinyoung be imperfect, seen Jinyoung… not be Jinyoung. He saw Jinyoung be the real Jinyoung. He sees Jinyoung pick himself up after breaking down, not once asking for help. Jaebeom always reminds his best friend that he was always there for him… and sometimes, the only way to console each other was presence.

These masks are what makes us seem strong in a world that tries to break us down. Without it, we are vulnerable.

“Earth to Park Jinyoung!”

Jinyoung jolts from his seat, eyes blinking numerous times before looking up to see Jaebeom standing in front of his seat. He looks around, his classroom already empty. His class had already ended?

“Wh… How’d you get in here?” Jinyoung asks his best friend, voice frazzled as he runs a hand through his hair. Jaebeom furrows his eyebrows as he frowns at the younger.

“We were supposed to meet at canteen 15 minutes ago. I asked your classmate, Hoseok, where you were and he said you were still in class even though it ended. I came here with you spacing out on your book,” Jaebeom gruffly said, obviously upset.

There’s a quiet apology from Jinyoung, the younger closing his philosophy textbook before shoving it in his bag. “I’m… really sorry. I just got lost in thought…” the younger mumbles as he collects his things and gets up form his seat. He hears Jaebeom sigh.

“Maybe you’re getting too smart that you’re starting to think too much,” Jaebeom says as he leaves the classroom with Jinyoung. “But it is your philosophy class. You like that stuff, right?” the older asks and Jinyoung shrugs.

“I do. But I wanted to take up literature more than business…” the younger says with a grumble. He remembers it clearly- They were already half way through the school year on their senior year.

* * *

 

_He came home one day with his parents asking what his plans for his future were. Which degree was he taking, which university would he attend… it was all… so stressful. Cram school was stressful, high school was stressful, now home was stressful too._

_He had said he was thinking of taking up Literature if not Philosophy. His parents looked horrified by his answer. He was immediately sentenced to either taking up medicine, engineering, or business. He only had those choices. What was the point of asking me if you’re binding me to my fate, Jinyoung had thought at that time. Medicine took too long and engineering wasn’t for his taste… so he settled for business. Whatever his parents were pleased with, it was the only choice he had. He was still so damn bitter about it, being forced to study a degree he had no interest in._

_He remembers the many disagreements and arguments he has had with his parents. His sisters could only comfort him, in the end saying “You can take up the course you want after graduating and getting a job”. He hated it. He would always reason then, that doing this was a complete waste of time_.

* * *

Both he and Jaebeom area headed for the canteen, Jinyoung feeling a migraine coming on. The semester had only started and he was… somewhat relieved. They had celebrated Jackson’s birthday when he came back from Hong Kong and well… his stay at his family’s had been tolerable at most. His parents, specially his father had been expecting so much of him that honestly sometimes, the raven thought that it was such an understatement whenever he says that the burden on his shoulders keep getting heavier and heavier.

Jaebeom was busy looking at today’s cafeteria menu and asking an absent-minded Jinyoung which would be better, a hamburger or a sandwich. It takes Jinyoung to snap out of his trance before giving the older a confused look. “Technically… a hamburger is um, a kind of sandwich, right?” he had asked, quite unsure of his own thoughts. Jaebeom gives his best friend an expression that’s somewhere between realization and confusion. “I mean… the um, hamburger is… between… two slices of bread?”

“… I’m… that’s ridiculously… correct.”

“Anyway,” Jinyoung shakes his head in attempt to focus. “because you’re such a lovely hyung, treat me to some egg sandwich. I’ll go look for seats,” the prince smiles at his friend who gawks and tries to deny him but Jinyoung was already dodging through the crowd of students.

He’s looking around when he feels his phone vibrate from his pant’s pocket. He picks it up, a small smile tugging at his lips to see the name of his sender.

 **Mark Tuan**  
1:56 PM  
Little Prince.

 **Jinyoung Park**  
1:56 PM  
Ah! Stop calling me that! It’s been months!  
  
Jinyoung stops when he finds a vacant table for him and Jaebeom to use. He places his bag on the seat across him before settling on the chair. There’s still that smile on his face as he continues with his conversation with Mark.

 **Mark Tuan**  
1:57 PM  
You’re still a prince to me though. 

 **Jinyoung Park**  
1:59 PM  
Anyway, what did you need?

 **Mark Tuan**  
2:01 PM  
You.

That was… wow, that was so lame and cheesy. Regardless, it doesn’t fail to leave Jinyoung’s cheek dusted in pink.

 **Jinyoung Park**  
2:01 PM  
Cheezy, aren’t we?

 **Mark Tuan**  
2:02 PM  
Haha! Lighten up, Jin! ^^

 **Jinyoung Park**  
2:02 PM  
Really! What did you want from me?

 **Mark Tuan**  
2:02 PM  
Ah, straight-forward as always I see ^^  
Fine. I was wondering if you had plans this weekend?  
We haven’t seen each other since Jackson’s birthday party.

Jinyoung’s smile falters. As much as he missed Mark (but would only admit it in private to the older), he had already given his mother his word that he would come home over the weekend. He smiles apologetically to his phone as his thumb moves to drag along the keys.

 **Jinyoung Park**  
2:03 PM  
Um, raincheck? Sorry. I already made plans for the weekend.

 **Mark Tuan**  
2:03 PM  
Without me? I’m hurt. 

 **Jinyoung Park**  
2:03 PM  
I wish. My mom roped me into staying over the weekend at home.  
I’m coming home after class on Friday.

 **Mark Tuan**  
2:03 PM  
Want me to drive you back?

Jinyoung smiles a little, shaking his head.

 **Jinyoung Park**  
2:03 PM  
Nah. I’ll be fine commuting.

 **Mark Tuan**  
2:03 PM  
Alright. But promise to see me soon?

Jinyoung chuckles at the response.

 **Jinyoung Park**  
2:03 PM  
Pinky promise.

He then keeps his phone, scans the cafeteria for Jaebeom. He sees his best friend carrying a tray of food on the way to him and he smiles at how adorable his usually cranky looking hyung looked. When Jaebeom arrives, the younger takes his bag from the elder’s seat and sets it in between his legs on the floor. He tells Jaebeom of his (well, his mother’s) idea of coming home for the week end and the older looks quite… not okay.

“Really? This weekend? We just got back a week ago.”

“Yeah… I don’t know. I think she’s just trying to patch up things between me and dad. We’ve been on disagreeing terms these days.”

Jaebeom hums in understanding. “Yeah, your dad always did have this annoying habit of breathing down your neck,” the older points out as he picks up his cup of soda before taking a sip. “Seriously, when is he going to start seeing how unhappy you are?”

“When I’m literally dead.”

The older gives Jinyoung a stern look. “Jinyoung, you know I don’t like it when-“

“Yeah, sorry. I didn’t mean to,” Jinyoung says rather too quickly. He didn’t want the conversation to get deeper and upset Jaebeom with that kind of responses. His best friend was uncomfortable whenever Jinyoung carelessly says anything about him throwing away his life. There were close calls before.

“Anyway,” the younger had prompted, “let’s do well this semester. I really just want to graduate as soon as we can. I want to get out of my parents’ hold.” Jaebeom nods at the younger’s words as they quietly ate their meal which consisted of Jaebeom trying to defend his fries away from his best friend and failing miserably to Jinyoung’s aegyo.

When Friday came, and Jinyoung had prayed so hard that a meteor would crash into earth instead, preferably Seoul, rather than him having to go home. He’d have more than one reasons not to go home.

But here he was, waiting at a bus station after his 3 PM class had ended. He had told Jaebeom he’d be back by Sunday evening, hopefully. When his bus arrives, he reluctantly drags his feet and goes home back to his hometown. He sighs, opting to listen to music while scrolling through article after article of whatever he finds on the internet.

 **Jaebeom Lim**  
4:27 PM  
Fighting, Jinyoung!

 **Jinyoung Park**  
4:28 PM  
Take care of the dorm while I’m not around, hyung!

 **Jaebeom Lim**  
4:31 PM  
Of course. Stay sane until you get back!

_I wish._

When he gets back home, Jinyoung is welcomed by his mother, accompanied by cooing and a warm hug. The first question he asks his mother is if his father was there. The lady sighed and tries to smile at her son. “Jinyoung please, I know the decisions me and your father imposed on you are taking a toll on you… but we believe in you and we only wanted what’s best for you.”

Jinyoung thinks that this… this just sucked. He feel somewhat rebellious about the whole ordeal his parents put him in but whenever his mother tells him this, he only felt bad about himself. It wasn’t fair that he’s conditioned to feel guilty if he’s “failing” to meet the expectations of his parents to do what they think is good for the younger. He knows his sisters had suffered the same fate… but why does that mean that he has to suffer it too?

He wants to be the change he needed, he wanted to break free from these chains his father had set upon his children. Was success always measured by the degree one was taking? For his father, definitely. Anything out of engineering, business, medicine, and law, it was useless. He wanted to change that, wanted to show his parents that with just a little bit of support to what their children wanted, they could succeed too. Jinyoung thinks that that’s what most parents these days are failing to realize.

“I… I know, I’m sorry.”

This was the only thing Jinyoung could say. Through heavy sighs and gritted teeth, he has no choice but to just accept this and comply. What could possibly be worse than studying a degree your parents have put you through and have no interest for it?

When his father arrives, he tries to be nice. He greets his father kindly, a smile on his face while asking about his day. He tries to be interested, tries to understand, tries to be a ‘good son’. His father seemed pleased with the accommodating attitude Jinyoung displays and for once, the Park family seemed to enjoy one another’s company and even go so far as had fun.

They were a good family, Jinyoung thinks. It was only until Jinyoung was headed for college when things went a little sideways. Jinyoung used to enjoy dinner, talking to his sisters, doing things with his mom, being with his dad. But ever since the collegiate inquiries, things had gone downhill for Jinyoung and his dad when it came to their relationship. So, it felt refreshing to Jinyoung when he’s laughing with his father when he was saying something about work mishaps and misadventures.

To Jinyoung, this might be a sign that things may actually turn out well during the entirety of his stay at home.

Boy, was he so wrong.

Sure, things went well but by Saturday afternoon, Jinyoung and his father was arguing once again in the living room. It had all started when his father had said something about stocks and Jinyoung replied that he didn’t really care about it. His father wasn’t very pleased with his answer.

“But I really, really don’t care about stocks, dad. I don’t even know why I’m studying business!”

His father gives Jinyoung a warning, voice raised.

“You should be grateful that I’m paying for your studies.”

“But I am! I’m grateful but dad, you need to know that this isn’t what I wanted!”

“You can’t have everything you want, Jinyoung.”

“Take your own advice, dad. You TOO, can’t have everything you want!”

His father makes a fit, lecturing Jinyoung about how he’s just a child, a child who wants to play and knows nothing about the real world.

“Dad, life isn’t just about money and success! Money isn’t always the measurement of success. Can’t I just choose what I want to do? I’ve always did what you’ve told me to do--- why can’t I have this one chance?!”

“Is this what you’ve become after spending all your time with that Lim kid?!” his father had yelled.

What the hell does Jaebeom have anything to do with this?

“Just because he’s more free-spirited, has piercings, gets a goddamn haircut that doesn’t conform the societal norms of formal doesn’t mean he’s a bad kid!” Jinyoung had defended. “I mean, for god’s sake, he listens to me, to what I feel, to what I’m thinking more than you, my own father!”

“He may not have the best grades dad and he may look like he’s a delinquent, but he’s hard working and kind and god, he can see how unhappy I am! You’re my father so why can’t you?!” he had screamed, now only realizing that his tears have been falling.

“If you just try to understand why-“

“I’M TRYING DAD! SO WHY CAN’T YOU TRY UNDERSTANDING ME TOO?!”

And there was silence. Just… deafening silence. His mother was only a spectator, not wanting to interfere between the two while his sisters were away. Jinyoung shakes his head, wiping his tears with the back of his hand as he gazes at his father, his expression unwavering.

“I’m trying to embrace the path you placed me in. It’s not what I want but I need you to understand that I’m human too. That I may not be performing at my best because I… honestly, I’m not good at all this business thing,” He tells his father, voice breaking. “I know I need to do well, I’m trying my best to make you proud but not once have I ever heard you ask me ‘How are you’ like an actual father who cares about his kid’s well-being instead of their family’s status.”

His father looks at him, incredulous and scandalized.

“Jaebeom or any other of my friends aren’t a bad influence on me dad. They’re the ones keeping me going. I know, okay, that I have to do well, that we have a reputation to keep. I get that,” the younger tells his father, wiping another tear that falls from his eyes. “… But dad, I’m having a hard time too. I’m not perfect, dad.”

“Makes me wonder if… you really do know me as well as you show me off to your constituents.” Jinyoung then just sighs as he heads upstairs to his room. He hears his father call him, saying that they weren’t done and he hears his mother calling for him with concern in her voice but he ignores them and heads for his room.

_I need a drink._

Jinyoung keeps alcohol in his small walk-in closet. His parents knew but knew that Jinyoung was responsible enough. And by responsible, Jinyoung knows it meant that the younger won’t do stupid shit to embarrass his family- his father mostly. He grabs his half empty bottle of whiskey and a glass, takes his phone from his bed and takes all of them into his personal bathroom. He slinks down on the tiled floor, placing the bottle and glass on the covered toilet and just sighs.

He checks his phone for messages while pouring himself a glass.

 **Mark Tuan**  
12:39 PM  
How’s the stay so far? Have you eaten lunch yet?  
Jackson accidentally burned the ramen. He burned. The ramen.

 **Mark Tuan**  
1:04 PM  
Little prince in the moon!

 **Mark Tuan**  
1:12 PM  
Guess you’re busy? Hoping your family isn’t so overbearing today.

Jinyoung takes a sip from his glass. Too bad Mark’s hope is crushed without his knowledge.

 **Jaebeom Lim**  
1:16 PM  
My mom’s strawberry milk had arrived! God I love her.  
You missed this right? I asked mom to make some and  
she delivered them here!

 **Jaebeom Lim**  
1:16 PM  
Say hi to auntie for me. Not your dad though because he’s probably  
being a dick to you as always.

_Right you are, Jaebeom._

**Mark Tuan**  
2:31 PM  
There’s this unsettling gut feeling I have. Please be okay.

_Too late. I’m not._

**Jinyoung Park**  
3:48 PM  
To your disappointment, my life sucks and I really want out.

While waiting for a response, Jinyoung takes another sip and hisses at the burn it leaves in his throat. Couldn’t the argument earlier wait until tomorrow to happen? So that he wouldn’t have to stay in this god forsaken place in the next 24 hours where awkward encounters and possibly more fighting awaits.

 **Mark Tuan**  
3:52 PM  
Hey, it’s okay. You’re okay.

Jinyoung grips on his glass at the response before deciding to chug down the contents of his glass to just… numb out everything. For some reason, Mark’s response had made him upset.

 **Jinyoung Park**  
3:54 PM  
It’s not okay. I’m not okay. God, don’t tell me  
what to feel. You’re like my dad.

 **Mark Tuan**  
3:59 PM  
Jinyoung that’s not what I’m trying to say. I’m  
just trying to comfort you.

 **Jinyoung Park**  
4:00 PM  
Well, you’re pretty terrible at it. My glass of  
whiskey seems to be doing a pretty great job  
though.

And Jinyoung feels that yeah, it does. Alcoholic company felt better than human company. Alcohol wouldn’t scold you or shit on you. Alcohol would even numb you down and just… make you not sad, he supposes.

Mark doesn’t respond and Jinyoung settles for moderate drinking. He didn’t really plan on getting drunk but right now, he just wanted to take it easy. He knows sooner or later, he’ll have to talk to his dad and just… apologize. That’s the way it has always been as if it was the natural order of things. It’s twisted, Jinyoung thinks, and he wishes that things could just change for the better.

 **Mark Tuan**  
4:49 PM  
10 minutes.

Jinyoung had finished drinking his sorrows by then, face already washed and mouth already washed. He really had no plans of breaking his mother’s heart even more by the blatant display of drinking. There were just things he did for the sake of his mother. When he checks his phone, he’s confused. What does 10 minutes mean? Maybe he sent the wrong message? He shrugs, carrying the bottle of whiskey and clean glass back to his cabinet and heads for bed. He gazes up to the ceiling with a heavy sigh and empty heart.

Minutes later, Jinyoung hears the doorbell ring. One of his sisters might have already arrived home. He stays in bed, not wanting to hear his mother tell his sisters about the recent argument. He closes his eyes, trying to rest and just breathe. He wished he was anywhere else rather than here. He felt like he was going to lose his mind if he continues to stay here.

“Oh, good afternoon Mrs. Park,” Mark had greeted the lady politely as he bows, Korean accented.

The lady seems surprised as he greets the blonde teen with a curt bow as well. “Yes, how may I help you?” she had asked politely.

“Oh, I’m uh, Park Jinyoung’s friend, Mark Tuan,” he had introduced with a sheepish smile. “I’m here to pick him up? We’re headed for our friend’s birthday. I promise you we’ll be back by 10 PM,” he assured Jinyoung’s mother. “No drinking. Just… birthday and food,” he says, fumbling over the words.

“Oh I see. Come in!” she ushered the blonde and Mark meekly enters. “Jinyoung hadn’t mentioned anything about going to a birthday party but he’s upstairs. I’ll go call him. Make yourself comfortable,” the lady smiles as she leaves Mark in the living room.

“Jinyoung-ah?” he hears his mother’s soft voice at the other side of his door. “Your friend Mark? He’s here and he’s here to pick you up!”

The raven’s eyes shot open as he sits up. Regretfully, he got up too quick and now he’s dizzy. “Wh-What?” he gets up and runs to his door only to see his mother smiling. “Why didn’t you tell me you were leaving today? Anyway, hurry up and get dressed! Your friend is waiting for you!” she ushered her child back into his room and Jinyoung stood there in stupor. A moment later, he picks up his phone and dials Mark’s number who picked up after 2 rings.

“What the hell are you doing here?!” the younger had hissed.

“Hurry up, will you? Your house is big and I’m kind of hoping not to meet your dad.”

“Where are we going? No one has a birthday today, idiot!”

“Just get dressed and we’ll go. I think you need some outdoors time.”

Mark ends the call at that. Jinyoung on the other hand is speechless. He sighs in defeat, changing clothes from sweatpants and shirt to jeans, button up, and cardigan. He takes his phone and wallet with him before heading downstairs to see Mark who was enjoying a cookie his mother made and a glass of milk.

“Mom, he isn’t 10 years old,” the raven had nudged and the lady only laughed.

“No one’s too old for cookies and milk,” she tells her son softly.

Once Mark was finished with his snack, he thanks the lady with a bow before leaving with Jinyoung.

“Really auntie, we won’t be later than 10 PM.” Mark had assured and Jinyoung glances at Mark, definitely confused.

“As long as you take Jinyoung home in one piece, it doesn’t matter. You boys are grown up and responsible,” she hums and sees Jinyoung and Mark off.

Once the Park household was no longer visible on the rear mirror, Jinyoung glances at Mark with a frown. “Where are you taking me?” the younger had asked and Mark sighs.

“Away so you don’t have to think of anything else for a while. Just be with me. Just… take it easy and breathe, Jin.”

It shuts Jinyoung up. He slumps back into his seat and gazes out the window, watching the scenery pass by him, the faint sound of music playing helping him calm down.

“My dad…” the younger prompts after a while only to be cut off by Mark.

“I said don’t think about that shit for a while,” the older tells him.

A beat passes and Mark speaks again.

“You don’t have to tell me anything unless you’ve completely gotten a grip on yourself.”

And Jinyoung is in silence the entire time. The atmosphere is comforting, warm. Jinyoung thinks he’s managed to calm down. He thought that Mark would have wanted to know what happened. Mark did, but right now, what’s important is that Jinyoung gets to relax and just stop worrying about everything.

When they arrive at their destination, Jinyoung’s somewhat confused. He hadn’t known that there was a festival of some sort being held to wherever they were. Mark parks the car and ushers Jinyoung to go out. Once the younger was out, he takes a deep breath and looks around. The place was filled with chatter and laughter, of colorful banners and many trinkets being sold.

When Mark holds his hand, his attention has been brought to the older. They walk, dodging working men who carried heavy items and children playing around. This has the younger’s attention divided, at awe at everything he sees. It was all so lively and bright, crowded and loud. There were booths that held games, sold snacks, sold different items and featured unique trinkets. They look through one booth to another, playing games either winning or losing it brought a smile to their faces, window-shopped for items that looked quite interesting but really have no use for them until they’ve stopped to a booth that only sold masks.

Jinyoung enters the booth with Mark as he looks around. The masks have Jinyoung in awe as the designs range from simple and childish to intricate and obscure. There were so many kinds to choose from. There were some familiar to him since they were cartoon characters, a few he recognized to be masks used by Japanese like foxes or the likes. Some were similar to those used for masquerade balls. It fascinated Jinyoung to no end and Mark smiles fondly at the younger’s expression, heart finally at ease to see Jinyoung… be okay.

There he goes again, moving to hold Jinyoung’s hand and gently tug at his finger. “Why don’t you go and choose one? I’ll buy it for you,” the older had offered and Jinyoung is flustered, refusing to let Mark buy one for him. Mark simply laughs and shakes his head. “Come on, it’s the least I can do for lying to your mom and kidnapping you,” the older says as he gently thumbs at the knuckles of Jinyoung’s hand. The raven blushes at the intimate gesture and laughs to hide it, nodding at the older and smiling. “Alright fine. I’ll go choose,” the raven softly says before pulling away to look around.

Mark looks around as well, looking for a mask that would best suite Jinyoung but perhaps it didn’t matter. He could do better someday and maybe now isn’t really the time to do some overthinking. He picks up a bunny mask, only half to cover the eyes. “How about this?” the older asked. “Nothing too grand, nothing too eye-catching, not expensive,” Mark had advertised.

Jinyoung laughs, eyes crinkling as he covers his laughing mouth with his hand. “Yeah, okay but if you get me that, you’ll wear one too,” the raven proposed which has Mark smiling.

“Sure.”

“Consider it sold,” Jinyoung tells the shopkeeper.

After Mark pays for the children’s masks and they both leave the booth, they’re walking again, hands held with Jinyoung holding the masks with his free hand.

“You know, the basic purpose of a mask is to hide one’s identity,” the younger starts as the walk towards a tree they could rest on. They’ve been walking for a while now and Jinyoung was already starting to grow tired.

Mark nods, agreeing with what the younger said as he sits downs underneath the tree’s, appreciating the shade it gives them. “What of it?” the older asks.

“Honestly, there’s more to just identity that we’re concealing when we wear masks,” the younger starts as he sits beside the older. “Like… like intention, emotion, thoughts…”

There’s a silent pause between them as Jinyoung looks at the masks he held in his hand. “… Metaphorically, every single one of us are wearing a mask. No one knows our true selves not even us. We wear our mask so tight that we even lose sight of ourselves,” the younger says softly, almost fondly as he slumps against the tree. “Makes me think that I could be someone else.”

“Then that means you can be free,” Mark softly tells the younger, hand reaching to hold Jinyoung’s vacant one as if it was already a habit. “If you’re wearing a mask to pretend to be someone else, pretend to be someone who’s free until you actually believe it.”

“You’d be crushing my hopes once I face the truth though,” the younger rolls his eyes with a sigh. “But sometimes, removing your mask to show what you’ve been hiding is good too. We could all use that vulnerability sometimes. We could all use the truth, even if it hurts.”

They fall silent for a moment, enjoying the spring breeze that befalls them as they watch the sky burn from orange to purple. Sunset, Jinyoung thinks, it would have been nice to watch the sunset. And then he’s thinking again. He catches himself and turns his attention to the masks. “Want to pretend to be rabbit people who has their own freedom for a while?” Jinyoung offers the older.

Mark looks at him for a moment before smiling, taking one mask from Jinyoung and wearing it. Jinyoung laughs softly at how cute Mark looks before wearing his mask as well. They look at each other for a brief moment before breaking into laughter. Jinyoung has never felt this light for a while and… he’s just grateful. He hasn’t told Mark what had happened or what he needed, but Mark knew exactly what the raven needed. Like he can second-guess what was good for Jinyoung.

“I uh… thank you, hyung.”

“What for?”

Jinyoung looks at the sky, a smile tugging at his lips.

“For being here for me.”

Mark simply holds his hand and sits closer to the younger.

“Anything for you, my little prince.”

They both fall silent for a moment before glancing at each other. This time, there was no laughter directed at each other, no silly expressions or jokes thrown, only gazes reflecting each other at a close distance. Maybe right now, they can pretend to be someone else other than Mark and Jinyoung. For now, they’re just two humans who just want to live in the moment, who just wants to breathe and not have to think about their responsibilities and their future.

The chatter, laughter, music, and whatever noise there existed was drowned out by heartbeats and breathing. Not exactly knowing how it happened, but it felt like forever, the moment in between before Jinyoung’s lips found their way to Mark’s. He feels Mark’s hand gripping slightly on to his and the elder’s other hand cupping Jinyoung’s cheek. He hadn’t even realized that Mark had thumbed away a tear drop from his closed eyes. He could feel their lips trembling at the contact, the gentle breeze spring against their skin, he can hear the ruffling of leaves, and he thinks that perhaps, he can hear both his and Mark’s heartbeats coming together as one.

Maybe both Jinyoung and Mark wore masks, but perhaps they’ve just unmasked each other, seeing past the lovely and favorable decoration and into the depths of their identities without judgement, without fear, without hesitation. Only acceptance, only coming into terms about the truths they’ve uncovered themselves through a single act of intimacy, of realization, of affirmation,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes hello! I'm back from my grave! It's been uh, 4 months since I last updated this and I'm so so sorry! I got caught up in academics, college is kicking my ass but I'm alive! I would have updated chapters 3-5 but I need to proof read the rest of Chapter 4 and finish chapter 5. I promise I won't keep you waiting long like another 4 months for a chapter. I've read the comments and I'm really happy and grateful that you've been patient and understanding and still waiting for a chapter release! I promise to finish this fic because honestly, this is just part one of a series I'm planning to make! Thank you so much! XOXO, Nini.


	4. If I could live in this montage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As much as Jinyoung is concerned, his life is good and he would like to keep it that way. The many good memories left with him, he only wishes for more as greedy as it may sound. But what was good for him but not the others?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 4 theme song: https://open.spotify.com/track/0v45wYl7yeXc8Br6aAEWIk

The semester flew like a breeze, Jinyoung thinks. There were a lot that had happened and yet the most memorable was still him and Mark’s first kiss. After that they shared breathless laughter, pink shaded cheeks, and an unspoken promise between them. It was awkward at first, being alone together in the car while Mark drove him back home.

 

* * *

 

_Music played in the background, he assumed that it was Mark’s playlist for driving. It was already night out and they haven’t really talked ever since the kiss. Sure, there was casual flirting since they met, then there was subtle intimacy, their runaway nights spent in retro diners and libraries… Jinyoung didn’t realize that he was harboring feelings for the older until now. He wondered how Mark felt about this, what he felt about everything since the fateful night of their meeting._

_“So…” Jinyoung brings up softly as he glances at Mark who seemed to be at ease as he drove. “About earlier…”_

_“About your dad or about us?”_

_He could have just said ‘_ about the kiss _’ but no. It was about ‘_ us _’._

_Jinyoung blushes slightly as he rubs his nape sheepishly. “Yeah um, about us.”_

_“What about us?” Mark had asked lightly as if it was no big deal._

_Jinyoung purses his lips, somewhat wishing he could be as carefree as Mark was regarding this. Jinyoung was the type of person who needed verbal label, affirmation, anything that would not keep him in the dark. He just wanted to be on the same page as everyone because he really did want to avoid unnecessary conflict and misunderstanding._

_There was a small smile tugging at Mark’s lips as he gives Jinyoung a quick glance before looking back at the road. “We kissed. Our first kiss,” the older had softly stated but he didn’t seem bothered or uncomfortable unlike Jinyoung who seemed awkward._

_“Well what do you think about it?” Jinyoung had pressed. The information Mark divulged wasn’t enough to calm his nerves._

_“It was nice. Your lips were softer than I hoped for if I was being honest.”_

_“You thought about kissing me before?”_

_Mark was silent for a moment. It seemed like he was finally caught in embarrassment._

_“I… well… yeah. Have been for a while now.”_

_Jinyoung… didn’t really expect him to be this honest._

_“So, all those weekend adventure and late-night texts…”_

_“I like you, Jinyoung. I’m attracted to you. I want to be with you.” Mark says with finality, his words no longer mixed with playfulness and teasing._

_Jinyoung feels like he’s been punched in the gut and the wind out of his lungs. He knows he wanted words but this confession, brief and straight-to-the-point, was quite… too much. He shakes his head in disbelief. “That isn’t fair! That’s a sudden confession!”_

_Mark laughs softly at the younger’s reaction. “Aren’t confessions supposed to be a surprise?” he asks Jinyoung who seems baffled. “But anyways, you’re the told me you like me first after that time in the library cafe. That gave me chance, y’know? Made me think that maybe I can make you swoon with my sweet moves.”_

_Jinyoung is quiet for a moment, realizing that yes, he had confessed to Mark a few months back but he didn’t think it would mean anything to the older. Sure, Jinyoung had a crush on Mark but…_

_“You do know that I thought you were straight, right?”_

_“What does it matter when you’re sincerely harboring feelings for a person you want to be with?” Mark had muttered with a sigh. There was another moment of silence between them and this time, it was the blonde’s turn to be nervous._

_“You don’t have to say yes to me, you know,” the older prompts Jinyoung who seemed to be quiet in thought._

_“No, I… I like you too. I just… I’m still trying to take the information in,” Jinyoung huffs at the older._

_Mark laughs softly before taking hold of Jinyoung’s hand, bringing it closer to his lips and presses a kiss on the younger’s pinky._

_“I’d be really happy if you were my boyfriend, Park Jinyoung,” he softly says, almost as if he was whispering and Jinyoung’s heart is beating against his throat, against his ears and… he was just so bad at processing this kind of things. “Please think it over.”_

_They continue to drive back to Jinyoung’s home all the while Jinyoung’s hand rests on top of Mark’s hand who held the clutch. Mark’s hand was boney but the skin was soft, it was warm. Jinyoung was always affectionate with people who he has grown attached to. Jinyoung does think, that there isn’t really much to think about. He likes Mark and Mark likes him, there wasn’t any reason for them not to try. Except for his dad. His father would kill him if he found out that he was fooling with someone, a guy to boot. But then again, so long as this remained a secret between them and the people he trusts, he supposes that things will be okay until he graduates._

_When Mark parks right in front of Jinyoung’s house, they have a moment with each other, hands held and Mark’s thumb gently stroking Jinyoung’s tense knuckles. He looks at Mark with a small shy smile before nodding._

_“Yeah, I’d… really like it too if you were my boyfriend.”_

_Mark practically beams at Jinyoung, his smile showing off the elder’s canines and the sight of Mark being so genuinely happy makes his heart flutter._

_“Can you… can you please kiss me again?” Jinyoung asks shyly and Mark almost laughs at how adorable the raven was being._

_“Of course,” Mark softly says before leaning in to kiss the younger, lips more confident this time and more relaxed. It was Jinyoung’s turn to grip the blonde’s hand and when they pull back, they laugh softly together, feeling all the tension melt away and Jinyoung felt more happier tonight._

_“You should go talk to your dad though, make amends,” Mark tells his now-boyfriend and Jinyoung just sighs._

_“Yeah, I know, I’ll talk to him, make peace. I’ll be going back to Dongdaemun-gu tomorrow after lunch,” Jinyoung prompts the older before unlocking the seatbelt. He then turns to Mark with an apologetic smile. “Can you um… can we keep this a secret from our friends?” the younger had asked and Mark smiles._

_“Don’t worry about it.”_

_Jinyoung mutters a thank you before kissing Mark on the cheek and smiling at him. “Thank you for… taking me out today. I know I said that you were terrible at making me feel better but… this was more better than drinking,” he tells his boyfriend before getting out and waving Mark off._

_Since then, all the time off Jinyoung had, he was with Mark. Nothing much had changed over the time they were dating. Over the semester, he and Mark had a few dates alone and invited Jaebeom and Jackson with them from time to time to avoid being suspicious. They still haven’t told their best friends yet but the time will come._

 

* * *

 

 

There were definitely a few things that had happened over the semester. One night, Jaebeom came home with an undercut and his hair no longer black, but now a shade of brown. Mahogany, perhaps. The undercut paved way for his piercings to show and if Jinyoung was being honest, and he was, he tells the older that he had looked hot.

“Trying to pick ladies up, hyung?

Jaebeom rolled his eyes and huffed. “It’s really getting hot these days and well… I wanted to try a new haircut,” Jaebeom had reasoned out as he sat next to Jinyoung who was busy watching a movie on their small couch.

“It’s been a while since you dyed your hair. It looks good on you,” the younger prompts and he feels Jaebeom nuzzle against his shoulder like a cat.  Jinyoung raises an eyebrow at the older who whines at him.

“I’m chic and sexy,” Jaebeom tells his friend and the younger just scoffs at him.

 

* * *

 

 

One of his many adventures with Mark, just before prelims, Jinyoung and his boyfriend went museum hopping. Mark wasn’t very interested but he drove Jinyoung from one museum to another just to make him happy. And because it was also Jinyoung’s topic of report for Art Appreciation class. He was supposed to visit 5 different museums and make a review out of them and what better way to enjoy it than with his boyfriend.

Mark simply sat down on a bench while Jinyoung looks at a portion of the gallery and would sit on another nearby bench if Jinyoung moved away. Museum hopping took his entire day away but the sight of Jinyoung being observant of details, taking down notes and pictures were enough to bear this boring day.

Mark would take pictures of Jinyoung through his phone while the younger admires a painting or sculpture that he has stumbled upon on when he pretended to be on Instagram or Twitter while waiting for Jinyoung.

Later that day, Jinyoung finds himself on Mark’s Instagram post with the caption “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” in English text. The younger was grateful for his boyfriend who endured dragging his ass from different museums and didn’t complain one bit. Mark would always ask something about this piece whenever he was next to Jinyoung when he would join looking around and although he could barely understand and it meant no significant meaning to him, it meant the world to him to see Jinyoung’s eye sparkle in interest and to see how passionate the younger was.

Mark thinks that Jinyoung looks lovely like this, doing something he liked so a photo to commemorate this is not enough. He’d like to live with Jinyoung in these moments.

 

* * *

 

 

“Going out with Mark again?” Jaebeom asks when he comes into Jinyoung’s room and the younger was in the middle of fixing his hair.

“Yes, we’ll be watching a movie,” Jinyoung softly tells his best friend and Jaebeom moves in, sits down on Jinyoung’s bed.

“You know, I really miss spending quality time with my best friend,” Jaebeom prompts the younger and Jinyoung chuckles.

“We hang out all the time, hyung,” the raven says as he fixes the gray cardigan he was wearing over the sleeveless shirt he was wearing, tucking the front under his blue ripped-jeans.

“Are you sure you’ll be wearing that? It’s cold in the theater,” Jaebeom huffed as he looks at his best friend.

“It’s really hot these days,” the younger whines at the older who was acting like a mother. “I’ll be home by 6 pm, don’t worry,” he tells Jaebeom before picking up his wallet and phone. “I’ll see you later, Bbeommie hyung,” he winks as he leaves his room, Jaebeom only able to watch the younger go without another word.

 

* * *

 

 

When the semester ends, Jackson invites them to a party. It was nothing big but most of its attendees consisted of dancers and athletes he had met from different universities, being an athlete and all that. In fear of getting drunk that night, Jinyoung and Jaebeom had taken the subway to get there. While Jinyoung wore his mint green Stussy hoodie and a pair of jeans to go with a pair of slip on shoes, Jaebeom wore a black hoodie, his sweater on the inside showing from the sleeves and hem was colored in bright orange that contrasted his black track pants and sneakers that had the same pattern of checkers like Jinyoung’s. Jaebeom had insisted the younger to wear them.

They had just finished cleaning the dorm before they left. Jinyoung was resting against Jaebeom, head leaning on one of the elder’s broad shoulders while Jaebeom sat by the window, looking at the view while listening to music. It was peaceful moments like this with Jinyoung that he missed. He was either too caught up in rehearsals for the PEP Squad or the engineering department demanding too much of his time. He’d come back to the dorm already too exhausted to do anything that they almost never go out and their hang-outs merely consisted of staying indoors to binge-watch movies or series.

This was why he was he missed Jinyoung because he gets to go out on the weekend with his other friends (Mark, most of the time, Jaebeom noticed). And he was lowkey jealous of Mark for being able to have a good time with Jinyoung, take him to places and make the younger happy. And the small worries he has is that Jinyoung would replace him with Mark, that Jinyoung would prefer the elder’s company than his. Jaebeom didn’t want to be possessive of Jinyoung but…

He wished more moments like this with Jinyoung. He’d like to live in moments like this.

He missed his best friend.

He missed their drinking session, their quiet hangouts where Jinyoung would read his book while Jaebeom typed on his laptop, he missed the sight of Jinyoung cooking in the kitchen and Jaebeom would help but the younger would send him back to his room to rest. He missed how he and Jinyoung would talk about their day and how they would lay down and talk until dawn about how they were and their worries.

He missed Jinyoung.

He missed Jinyoung but he couldn’t blame Mark for being friends with the younger and he couldn’t blame anything or anyone else if they start drifting apart. His schedule this term has been unforgiving and unaccommodating, and he has little time to rest and enjoy.

Jinyoung lifts his head from the brunette’s shoulder and glances at him with worry and this is where Jaebeom realizes that he was gripping on his phone and his face looked frustrated.

“Are you okay?” Jinyoung asks after he gently pulls out one of Jaebeom’s earphones from his ear. His voice was concerned, warm, genuine.

Jaebeom looks at Jinyoung, notices that the younger’s fringe is starting to go past his brows and this is where Jaebeom realized that its really been a while since he had taken a good look at the younger.

“I…” Jaebeom starts, almost breathless. “I just… think I left something open back at the dorm,” the older says. He wasn’t quite sure if now was the best time to bring this up but maybe soon. As much as he knew Jinyoung needed words for affirmation, Jaebeom needed it too.

Jinyoung doesn’t seem to buy the brunette’s words so he pokes the elder’s nose before smiling. “If you have something on your mind, you know I’d always be willing to listen. “

Jinyoung sees through the older, always does, and of course it has him worried. But he never pried into Jaebeom’s business if it wasn’t necessary. Of course, interventions are important when things are getting out of hand, but Jinyoung thinks that he’s only to intervene when Jaebeom isn’t healthy anymore, if he knows the older was at his wits end no matter how much Jaebeom would deny it. And even if he knows Jaebeom was full of pride, to Jinyoung, he would always reach out even in the smallest of ways and the younger would know immediately.

“… Thanks, Jinyoungie.”

“JJ forever,” Jinyoung smiles at Jaebeom softly.

JJ was their thing. JJ stood for Jaebeom and Jinyoung. They earned the nickname JJ Project back in junior high when they did everything together, succeeded together. They may have contrasting personalities but they worked well together. They shone bright with one another and they overcame obstacles together. Since then, JJ was their own little world where there was nothing else but the two of them, only trust and faith in one another.

When they arrived at Gwanag-gu station, Mark and Jackson was there to pick them up. Jackson wore all black, hoodie and shorts as well as a cap that hid his now brown hair. Mark was wearing a flannel shirt that mixed black, white, and off-gold, sleeves folded by just below his elbows. Jinyoung notices his boyfriend always wore loose shirts and this time, he wore a gray one with his jeans black and wearing his usual sneakers.

Jackson was loud as usual, running towards them excitedly and Jaebeom was slightly flustered but happy to see Jackson and Mark. There was a fist bump and a small hug exchanged between Mark and Jaebeom while Jinyoung banters with Jackson who kept saying that Jinyoung never replies to his texts. “How’s engineering? Jinyoung told me you’ve been having sleepless nights,” the eldest of the four softly tells Jaebeom and this softens Jaebeom’s heart.

“Oh yeah, I survived so that’s what counts,” Jaebeom smiles at the older and Mark returns it.

“Jinyoung was really worried for you, you know? He said you were eating and sleeping less--- he was seriously thinking of chloroforming you when you haven’t slept for 21 hours and had a morning class to attend,” the blond exhales because seriously, that was definitely concerning.

Jaebeom blushes slightly at the concern his best friend had for him and he somewhat thinks that… maybe he and Jinyoung are far from drifting apart. This lightens his chest and he definitely smiles at Mark.

“I’m kind of actually grateful for Jinyoung, you know? Scolding me when I overwork, getting up at 1 am to give me a snack or make coffee before going back to sleep… I’m really lucky.”

“I know the feeling,” Mark tells him and Jaebeom doesn’t understand what it meant and when Mark catches his expression, he quickly adds, “I do the same for Jackson. He’s an engineering student and he’s… practically my best friend.”

Before Jaebeom can add something, Jinyoung immediately moves to Mark, embracing him for a moment before pulling back and giving the older a good look and a fond smile.

“Hey,” Jinyoung softly says.

“Hey,” Mark chuckles softly.

“Your roots are starting to show,” the younger softly tells his boyfriend as he combs the blond locks with his fingers and Mark sighs, content and happy.

“Maybe I’ll bleach it again soon,” the older says with a fond smile before they’re disrupted by Jackson who’s already ushering them into the car. While Jinyoung and Jaebeom stay in the backseat, Jackson rides shotgun and Mark drives for the four of them.

There’s really nothing much to say about the party. It was loud and crowded but the moment they all had booze, they hit off. It wasn’t that Jackson threw bad parties that Jinyoung, Mark, and Jaebeom had settled to the side with beer and chips shared amongst them. It was just that between the four of them, Jackson was the only one who was an extrovert and was comfortable with other people around him. Jackson was like a social butterfly and they didn’t really mind.

Jinyoung downs the content of his red cup and sighs afterwards, looking a little droopy. “Are you drunk?” Jaebeom asks his best friend after taking another sip of his beer.

“Nah. The beer’s been washed down by the ice.”

Mark takes the younger’s cup and moves to refill it. The three of them seems to have good alcohol tolerance and Jaebeom has the strongest.

“I’m just tired from spring cleaning. We’ll be going home in a few days and… I really wish I didn’t have to go home for summer break.”

Jaebeom nods in understanding, gently swirling his drink before taking another gulp.

“It’s just a month and a half, Jinyoung. You can endure it,” Jaebeom softly tells his best friend with a small smile.

Mark returns with Jinyoung’s cup filled with Sprite and vodka mixed in together. He receives a small thank you from Jinyoung who immediately drinks the cocktail while Jaebeom asks Mark for his summer break plans.

“Going home back to LA. I already got my ticket yesterday and I’m leaving next week,” Mark says before taking a sip from his can of beer.

Their conversations trail from embarrassing high school stories to annoying professors in their university. They had enough drinks to loosen up and be comfortable with one another even if there was a roaring crowd because there seems to be a dance battle going on. Jinyoung encourages his best friend to participate but Jaebeom didn’t want to.

“Space is too small and I’m really not in the mood…”

“He chooses his battles.”

And when it was past 1 AM, Mark was still clear in the head and was the one to drive his friends back to their dorm near Seoul National University. Jinyoung was tipsy and seated in shotgun while Jaebeom slept beside Jackson who babbled drunkenly in the back seat. With their two friends barely conscious, they find a moment to themselves as they held hands.

“Stay in our dorm for a while,” Mark softly tells Jinyoung who seemed sleepy already.

“We can still go home. We’ll be fine.”

“You’re tipsy and I’m sure you can’t carry Jaebeom both in the subway and going back to your dorm.”

Jinyoung couldn’t argue with that so he helps Jaebeom up the dorm while Mark helped Jackson. When they get in, Mark moves quickly to prepare a spare bed in Jackson’s room for Jaebeom to sleep. He calls for Jinyoung to place the brunette on the sleeping mat while Jackson was perched on his bed, knocked out.

“Where am I staying?” Jinyoung sleepily asks with a yawn.

“My room, obviously.”

Mark exits the room with Jinyoung trailing sluggishly behind him. Mark goes in first and Jinyoung takes a look at himself in the mirror, observing himself and noting that his bangs were getting longer before shrugging the thought away and entering Mark’s room. He was expecting another sleeping mat laid next to Mark’s bed but there was none. Mark was also half done changing clothes, already wearing a pair of sweat pants and currently in the process of wearing a shirt. Jinyoung tries not to pry and scans the room for where he can sleep but finds no sleeping mat for him.

“Where am I supposed to sleep?” Jinyoung asks grumpily.

Mark turns his head to see his boyfriend frowning. He grabs the clothes on his bed and gives it to Jinyoung. “Go change,” the older tells him and Jinyoung huffs as he takes it and moves to the bathroom.

“You still haven’t answered where I’m sleeping. Am I sleeping on the couch?” the younger asks as he changes into the pajamas Mark lent him. If he wasn’t tipsy, he would have been shy to wear his boyfriend’s clothes. When he emerges from the personal bathroom, he finds his boyfriend already in bed, patting the side next to him.

“You’re sleeping next to me.”

Oh.

In the span of their friendship and relationship, Jinyoung has not once slept next to Mark. There were no instances nor were there any opportunities for a sleep over. So Jinyoung slightly sobers up at the invitation, looking at his boyfriend with mild surprise before obediently making his way to the bed while Mark stands again to close and lock his door before turning off the lights. Jinyoung lays down with Mark in his single person sized bed and Mark says something about it being cramped.

“You could have just gotten me a sleeping mat.”

“And let my boyfriend sleep on the cold floor alone? No way.”

Jinyoung chuckles at the elder’s response, an arm wrapping over the blonde’s waist and he can feel Mark do the same to him. “At least we can cuddle like this,” the raven tells his boyfriend who seems to agree with Jinyoung’s words. Mark makes sure to cover the both of them with his blanket and make sure that Jinyoung was comfortable.

“Mark hyung...” Jinyoung calls out softly, eyes closed due to the heaviness they felt from both exhaustion and drowsiness alcohol gave him. Mark hums softly to let Jinyoung knows that he was listening.

“Will you please kiss me?”

Mark smiles a little, eyes fond as he admires the younger’s features gently illuminated by the moon’s faint flow. The older thinks he looks radiant, the raven’s eyelashes gently fluttering to get a glimpse of his boyfriend.

“Please?”

Mark doesn’t have the heart to deny his boyfriend a simple wish.

“Close your eyes and I will,” Mark tells the raven who gives a soft chuckle in return before closing his eyes once again, plump lips waiting for the other.

And there it was, the soft and gentle contact of their lips pressed together. Jinyoung grips gently on the elder’s shirt as he pulls him closer. There was something comforting about kisses shared between them. A moment too long and Mark has his other hand cupping Jinyoung by his neck as he pulls the younger impossibly closer with their lips moving against one another.

It wasn’t the first time he and Jinyoung had made out but rather every time felt like the first time. There was once in Mark’s car in the parking lot of a mall, breathless giggles shared when someone passed by them. Another time was when Jinyoung came over to the dorm in Gwanak-gu, right here in Mark’s room while Jackson was at the gym. Another time was right after Jinyoung’s performance from a play in university at the back-stage’s dressing room (Jinyoung was really insistent and impatient at that time. He said he needed to calm his nerves). These were only a few notables from their misadventures.

Jinyoung lets out a soft moan when Mark nibbles on his lower lip, both of them vulnerable in each other’s embrace. Mark moves on top of Jinyoung, the younger’s hands roaming and slipping in the blonde’s shirt. Mark was soft and warm, he was lean enough and his muscles were just enough. He rests his hands on the elder’s back, pulling him closer. Mark licks his way between Jinyoung’s lips, wet muscles brushing against each other and both of them feels intoxicated from the kiss that tasted like Coke and vodka.

When Mark pulls an inch away, they’re panting against each other, lips glistening with saliva heavily lidded eyes gazing at each other before Mark places a chaste kiss on the younger’s lips. The blonde then returns to his initial position beside Jinyoung and the younger immediately cuddles against the older.

“Good night, hyung.”

“Good night, my little prince.”

Jinyoung falls asleep immediately, the warmth and security Mark provides him makes it easy for the younger to do so. Mark, however, stays up for a few minutes just to admire Jinyoung. Defenseless, vulnerable, precious. It may be too soon, but for Mark, he thinks that it would be nice to sleep and wake up next to Jinyoung like this. He presses a soft kiss on the crown of Jinyoung’s forehead before tucking the younger underneath his chin and letting sleep take him as well.

He will have this moment in his heart in secret.

When Jinyoung wakes, the space right next to him is empty and he can hear the TV from the living room play some American movie. He feels nauseous, a headache waiting to happen and he tries to hold back groaning. He looks around for his phone, noticing it placed on the bedside table with a glass of water and medicine placed next to a note.

 _Drink this when you wake up._  
_Hope you’re feeling okay._  
 _When you’re ready, come have breakfast._  
 _-Mark_

Jinyoung smiles fondly at the note before taking a pill and drinking it. Better to drink now while it’s still mild than to drink later when its severe and might not work. He takes his phone with him, checks the time. 9:48 AM. He supposes that breakfast is still a good idea within this time frame. He felt starved and thirsty with too much to drink last night. Once he gathers himself, he steps out of his room to see Mark in the living room, watching a movie on the couch while he ate cereal.

“And by breakfast you mean cereals, right?” Jinyoung softly calls out as he walks towards his boyfriend, looking around before placing a kiss on his cheek.

“Good morning, Jin.”

“Good morning, hyung. Where’s Jackson hyung and Jaebeom hyung?” the younger had asked as he looks around.

“They’re still asleep. I woke up earlier hearing Jaebeom throw up in Jackson’s bathroom.”

“Gross.”

Jinyoung moves to sit beside Mark, resting his head on the elder’s shoulder as they both watch the movie. _Avengers: Age of Ultron,_ Jinyoung notes. He and Mark shares the bowl of cereal but the raven complains half way because the cereal is already soggy with milk. “Don’t let them soak for too long,” the younger teen had muttered.

An hour later, Jaebeom emerges from the room in different clothing than last night. He doesn’t look too hot, face swollen from sleep and face green from nausea. Jinyoung stands up, volunteers to make hang-over soup for the two drunk teens. It seems that Mark had lent Jaebeom fresh clothes after throwing up. While Jaebeom recuperates in the living room with Mark watching over him and the volume of the movie turned down, Jinyoung cooks in the kitchen.

It feels weird, cooking in a place that isn’t even where he stays at and for people other than his best friend… but it feels nice. Sure, he cooks for him and Jaebeom most of the time, but for his boyfriend? It felt like a piece of the what-could-be-the-future. Jinyoung blushes at the thought and scolds himself mentally for daydreaming too soon. They had only started dating and had only figured out that he had feelings for Mark, so wouldn’t living together with a relationship status be too soon?

The younger focuses on cooking, even making gimbap for everyone else. It was easy to make and eat, he was sure Jaebeom would be hungry for throwing up everything he had last night. He was pretty sure it was 70% alcohol and 30% actual food. Once Jinyoung was finished cutting up the gimbap, he places them in a small plate and gives it to Jaebeom.

“Come on, just eat little by little, Jae,” Jinyoung had smiled softly at his best friend, voice warm like honey and gaze affectionate. Jinyoung has always been known as the mom friend since high school with their pals. His boyfriend knew this. Mark watches Jinyoung care for Jaebeom and that’s where he realizes that Jinyoung cares so much for his best friend. He hasn’t met much of Jinyoung’s university friends but he knows that Jinyoung was a caring friend. But he chooses the people to dote on, the people who he looks after like a brother and as much as he’d gather, Jaebeom was the only recipient of this affection.

There was an affection from Jinyoung that Jaebeom owned and Mark couldn’t.

His thoughts are disrupted when Jinyoung encourages the older to eat and Jaebeom eats small bites. He looked sick and tired, Jinyoung takes good after the older. “I’ll go get you some water, okay?” the raven tells Jaebeom before getting up and heading to the fridge, getting a glass of water and the medicine from Mark’s room for his best friend before returning to his side.

“Drink up and drink some medicine,” the raven softly tells him before he returns to the kitchen and turns off the stove to serve and feed the brunette. Mark watches Jinyoung and Jaebeom, the way they talk in soft tones and how natural their bond seemed. He supposes being childhood buddies would do that to them. Jinyoung sees Mark watch them so he offers the older a small smile that’s gone as soon as it came before Mark could return it because he returns his attention to Jaebeom.

“You don’t need to baby me, Jinyoungie…” Jaebeom had complained with a soft whine.

“Then stop acting like one?” the raven had teased before huffing, feeding Jaebeom a spoonful of soup.

When lunchtime arrives, Jinyoung is busy in the small kitchen, cooking for them while Mark and Jaebeom occupy the couch while Jackson is in his room, already awake and consuming the soup Jinyoung made while he recovers. Now that Mark was alone with Jaebeom, perhaps this would be the best time to talk to the brunette.

“Jinyoung… really cares about you, huh?” the blond prompts and Jaebeom is nudged out of his trance.

“Huh? Oh… yeah. I’m uh… really lucky to have him, y’know?” the brunette softly tells him.

Its awkward between the two when they’re both quiet people to begin with, but Mark wants to make things clear for his sake. “I… your bond… it’s really unique at the same time so strong. The way he looks at you… the way he talks about you…”

Jaebeom looks at Mark with an incredulous expression. Yesterday he was worried that Jinyoung was starting to drift from him… but hearing this from Mark, his heart felt lighter and honestly, he felt better. He was relieved to know that Jinyoung still remembered him even if he was with Mark or someone else.

“Yeah I… I think he really looks up to you a lot. You guys seem… inseparable.”

Jaebeom laughs softly at that. “You could say that. We’ve known each other since diaper days and all. Jinyoung knows me best and vice-versa. We’ve done things together and we were there for each other on our worst and best.”

Mark wonders if he knew about the time Jinyoung went home and had a fight with his dad so the blonde went to the younger to console him. He wonders if Jinyoung had told him. There was a silence between them before Jaebeom looks at Mark and speaks up.

“I know he hangs out with you often,” Jaebeom started, “so please take care of him. He’s… not good with his emotions. If things go beyond his control, he spirals out of control too.”

Mark could only look at Jaebeom with mild surprise.

“… I can’t look after him all the time like when we were in high school but… he needs someone who can keep him in check when things are getting hard for him. He endures well, makes things work… but in exchange of that is a part of Jinyoung that breaks on the inside.”

Jaebeom offers a smile. “I _really_ care about him,” the brunette says firmly. There was no hesitation in his voice but there was threat in his tone. “I wouldn’t let _anyone_ hurt him.”

 _I’m not just anyone,_ Mark had wanted to say, _I’m his boyfriend._ But he stops himself, reminding himself the pact he made with Jinyoung. “I wouldn’t let anyone hurt him too, Jaebeom.”

There was a moment between them where there seemed to be tension but it melts away when Jinyoung calls both of them to eat the lunch he had prepared. The youngest asks about what they were talking about.

“Just saying how amazing you are, Jinyoungie,” Jaebeom says affectionately even if he acted otherwise.

“You’re the best,” Mark adds with a small smile that has Jinyoung blushing.

“Both of you are idiots. Just eat already,” the raven says as he digs in.

After lunch and Jinyoung washing the dishes (Jaebeom insisted to help instead of Mark because ‘they were guests’), the ones from Dongdaemun-gu had left with their used clothes in a bag Jackson lent them. Mark and a still-sick Jackson took them to the station and made sure they’ve entered the subway before leaving.

While Jinyoung rests his head on Jaebeom’s shoulder in the train, Jaebeom speaks softly.

“Where’d you sleep last night?”

“With Mark hyung,” the raven sleepily says.

“Oh.”

 

* * *

 

 

Two days after, Jinyoung and Jaebeom had hung out better. Jaebeom and Jinyoung went to the gym together. They ate out and watched a movie at the nearby mall. They were already in a bus headed back to the dorm when Mark had texted him.

 **Mark Tuan**  
8:42 PM  
Can I interest you in going out tomorrow night  
on a date?

 **Jinyoung Park**  
8:44 PM  
Where to?

 **Mark Tuan**  
8:45 PM  
I think you won’t like my choice of place but  
hear me out. Can we go to a bar?

 **Jinyoung Park**  
8:45 PM  
Are you serious? You know I don’t  
like crowded places…

 **Mark Tuan**  
8:45 PM  
It’s not crowded. It’s kind of… chill?  
I saw it over the internet. There’s a  
live band and its like those bars from  
the 60’s.

 **Jinyoung Park**  
8:52 PM  
… Alright. Dresscode?

 **Mark Tuan**  
8:53 PM  
Like you’re there for a party.

 **Jinyoung Park**  
8:55 PM  
I thought it isn’t a party?

 **Mark Tuan**  
8:55 PM  
I didn’t say it wasn’t a party…

 **Jinyoung Park**  
8:56 PM  
Mark…

 **Mark Tuan**  
8:56 PM  
You won’t regret it. I’ll pick  
you up at 6 tomorrow night.

 

* * *

 

 

Jinyoung didn’t really want to stand out like a sore thumb in a party being held in a bar. So here he was, styling his hair for the past 15 minutes until Jaebeom came in and helped him. It was a simple updo, hair pushed back and slightly messy.

“Going to a party?” Jaebeom softly asks and Jinyoung makes a face.

“Yeah. I know I’m not a party person but I was invited by Wonpil, so…”

Jaebeom nods solemnly and finishes fixing the younger’s hair. “Call me if you need me to pick you up tonight and please, god, Jinyoung, don’t drink too much,” the brunette pleads.

“I won’t, sheesh. You’re not there to save me so…” the raven laughs, his eyes crinkling and the whiskers beneath his eyes become visible.

“I’ll save you, just give me a call, okay?”

“My hero~”

Jinyoung leaves in a white tee that was splashed in shades of blue, indigo, purple, and pink to make out a picture of a bird flying, the lining of his sleeve black. They’re tucked in the pair of blue ripped jeans he was wearing while his shoes were a pair of black leather boots.

When Jinyoung arrives at their meeting place, Mark was wearing a gray shirt that had black roses that formed a cross over the front that hung over his body and front tucked into his ripped jeans, blonde hair swept up and leather shoes shining. What really got Jinyoung was the way Mark wore accessories; piercings, bracelets, and necklace. To say that Mark looks hot is an understatement.

They head to Gangnam where the bar was located and when Jinyoung enters with Mark, he hears music in the background, chatter but it wasn’t too much, lights dim and crowd controlled. Maybe Jinyoung would like it here. Before he could look for Mark, he sees the older already making his way through the bar and settling in an empty booth. Jinyoung slides over next to him rather than across him.

“I like it here,” Jinyoung tells his boyfriend who gives a smug grin in return, arm resting on the table.

“I knew you would,” the blonde says proudly, voice low in timber before his attention shifts into the crowd of the bar, dancing and partying but not too out of control.

They ordered food and drinks, talked over the hours that passed with flirting and side-eyeing each other. Jinyoung is buzzed and so is Mark, but neither of them complains because in the next minute, they’re in a lip-lock, Jinyoung far too gone and Mark losing inhibition for just a moment. Jinyoung’s lips are so soft against Mark and it leaves butterflies in his stomach when Jinyoung would chuckle breathlessly against the blonde. To think that a kiss can intoxicate both of them more than alcohol could in a moment.

When both of them gather themselves, Jinyoung finds himself leaning against the blonde. He’s suddenly aware of the atmosphere that was Mark. The way he looked at ease, the way his lips tasted, the way he feels warm against him, the way the blonde sounded when he would groan but is muffled by the raven’s lips, and the way Mark’s cologne had started rubbing on him.

There was just nothing but Mark right now.

The rest didn’t matter right now. Not the band playing live, not the chatter that mixed of laughter, sorrow, or adventure, not the many shot glasses and bottles on their table, not the world that continues to spin regardless of their undefined future. All of these are just white noise, a background picture.

With all the memories Mark left him with and will continue to give him, all he wanted to do is continue to live in this montage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah! JINYOUNG COULD HAVE SAID "I STAYED IN MARK HYUNG'S ROOM" BUT INSTEAD SAID HE SLEPT WITH MARK DOES THAT AFFECT JAEBEOM? WHY WOULD JAEBEOM BE AFFECTED? THE OVER PROTECTIVE BESTFRIEND WHO'S REALLY JUST CONCERNED WILL PREVAIL. OR IS HE? 
> 
> OH! Regarding their clothes: JB, JINYOUNG, JACKSON, MARK clothes for Jackson's party (LOOK Boyfriend Dance Practice). JINYOUNG going to the movies with Mark (DISPATCH If You Do dance practice). JINYOUNG and MARK at the bar (IF YOU DO M/V)
> 
> Music to play: Tic Tic Tok (GOT7), Youth (Troye Sivan), Havana (Camila Cabello), [kissing scene in Mark's dorm] Apocalypse (Cigarettes After Sex), Swollen Summer (The Bravery)
> 
> Please watch out for the double update that will come up within this week! They're very important updates so I hope you all anticipate it. Thank you for loving and supporting MTWI! I love you all! If you're all asking, the maknae line will also be part of the fic but at a later time. XOXO, Nini.


End file.
